Lost Without You
Jun. 22nd, 2013 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyrosgfTitle: Lost Without You
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Tommy Ratliff/Taylor Hanson
Wordcount: 1790 without lyrics.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: n/a
Disclaimer: All a figment of my overactive imagination, names and likenesses used but not meant to portray the actual lives of subjects mentioned
Summary: Tommy is feeling particularly mopey because Taylor missed their three year anniversary. He’s not aware of the surprise Taylor has in store for him. Also check out the amazing song that the title comes from here.
Beta: @bloodflowsred who is completely to blame for this entire fic.
Stay here in my arms tonight
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
I just wanna be the one you’re holding onto
And if you wanna run tonight
I’d take you anywhere you want me to
I’m giving you my heart ‘cause I
I’m lost without you
‘Cause I’m lost without you
In the space of a lifetime, three years really doesn’t seem like much. But in those three years, Tommy learned more about the man he wants to be from Taylor. He’d met Taylor not too long after he’d filed for divorce. The rumors had been a mass during that time, and within an afternoon of meeting Taylor he knew they were true. Taylor Hanson, devoted husband and father of four, was gay.
Tommy himself had learned in the short time he’d been playing with Adam Lambert that he wasn’t as straight as he’d always thought. And when their paths crossed by chance at some event that blurred in with all the others, for the first time in his life, Tommy felt star struck. No, not because Taylor was ‘the chick’ from Hanson. But because Taylor had finally taken hold of his life and decided to be himself. From that night a friendship grew into something so much more. And now Taylor came home to him, to their home.
Taylor’s latest venture with his band has left Tommy alone more than he likes. He understands, having just done another show with Adam, but on night’s like these he wishes Taylor was in his arms more than anything. He has patience, sure, but on their anniversary it’s a little disheartening to receive a gift via your mailbox and a phone call with an apology because a show was booked last minute. Tommy swallows it down and hugs the pillow closer to his body as the demons in the dark gnaw at him. He can’t sleep. Every time he closes his eyes all he can see is all the girls swooning over Taylor, and the flirty smile he throws so easily during shows. His grip tightens on the pillow. It’s much too late even with the time difference for the show to still be going on, but Tay still hasn’t called. If Tommy was a smart man he would just go to sleep like a normal human being and not pine for his boyfriend like a lost puppy. But the house is just too quiet, too still for rest. The kids are with their mom for the week so there are not even the shifting noises of Ezra rolling around in his sheets, or the occasional thump from Viggo when he flails out in his sleep. His heart sinks lower, further into his stomach. Taylor forgot to call him before he went to bed.
Three years ago he would’ve never thought twice. He would've gone the fuck to sleep like a normal person. But three years ago he wasn’t stupidly fucking head over heels for someone either. The minutes tick by slowly, and still sleep won’t come. Tommy ponders how the hell he got here. He’s had needy girlfriends, but he never understood until now how they felt when all they wanted was to be with him. Now he gets it, and he feels stupidly sappy.
“Fuck, Tommy, let it go. You know he’ll be home next week,” he grumbles to himself and huffs into his pillow before flipping over onto his back and staring at the ceiling. The last time he remembers looking at the clock the glaring display told him it was sometime after four. Everything swirls around him, until sleep finally settles into his bones and he goes lax with it.
The bed shifting startles Tommy from his sleep, and by the time his brain catches up, the scent of Taylor surrounds him. Taylor drapes over him like a blanket and Tommy hums happily before he remembers Tay isn’t supposed to be home yet.
“How… what… but…” Tommy croaks, unable to get his thoughts together.
“I missed you. Caught a Red Eye back to LAX after the show. I know I missed our anniversary, but I got here as soon as I could. I missed you,” Taylor breathes against Tommy’s ear. Tommy shudders and gasps when Taylor sucks his earlobe into his mouth, tongue swirling around Tommy’s piercings.
“I… you didn’t have to,” Tommy finally mutters.
“I’ve gotta leave again tomorrow, but it’s worth it to spend some time with you. I even brought you something, but that’s just going to have to wait. I need to touch you.”
Tommy hums happily when Tay’s fingers drift lightly down his bare sides. Yes, he’s definitely missed this. Everything about Taylor being away sucks, but the thing he misses the most is the way Taylor touches him like he’s something precious. And since when did his brain turn into that of a love struck, twelve year old girl? The things Taylor managed to do to him, and one of those things happened to be pressing into Taylor’s hip hopefully.
“Missed you so much,” Tommy groans and reaches to cup Taylor’s neck. He uses the hold to draw Taylor in for a kiss, and for several minutes they share the same air, tongues tasting, lips dancing, and their bodies writhing to a rhythm as old as time. Fire blooms in Tommy’s belly, he knows it’s been way to long since Taylor has been inside him, so he pulls away. "Stop,” he whimpers. He’s so close already.
Tay stills and looks down at Tommy, eyes burning with love and need. “You want me?”
“Yes, please…” Tommy whispers and nearly melts into the sheets when Taylor makes quick work of flipping him onto his stomach to prep him. In the next breath Taylor is sliding inside him, filling up all the spaces that were so empty without him, and Tommy rears back into him. He knows he’s babbling, pleading with Taylor, and for what he doesn’t really know. But Taylor answers him, gives everything back until they’re moving together slowly. Tommy’s fingertips dig into the sheets, the sensations coursing through him are everything he’s missed so much. When they’re together like this it’s heady, not just fucking. And as much as Tommy used to hate the term making love, this is the definition of it for him. The way Taylor slowly thrusts inside him, the kisses and nips Tay leaves on his neck and shoulders while he whispers in his ear, the break in Taylor’s voice each time he bottoms out and they both gasp, and the way Taylor weaves their fingers together. Taylor’s fingers flex with every movement of their bodies together, and Tommy squeezes Tay’s hand and shifts back on his knees, tugging their twined hands beneath his body until Taylor is pressed solidly against his back.
“Love you, missed you,” Tommy gasps and Taylor draws them up onto their knees, Tommy’s back pressed firmly to Taylor’s chest.
“Love you so much. Three years baby, three years with you being the only one I wanted to wake up to,” Taylor says between moans.
“Fuck,” Tommy groans when Taylor uses the arm braced across his chest to pull him down into each thrust, deeper, and brushing sensitive nerves until Tommy sees stars at the edge of his vision. “Please, more,” Tommy pleads.
“Faster?” Tay’s voice is a growl followed by a nip to his shoulder.
“Faster, fuck, please…”
Taylor is the epitome of a sex god, the slow rolls of his hips speeding up until Tommy is delirious with it. And when Taylor uses his other hand to reach around and give him something to thrust into, Tommy is gone. He feels like his entire body explodes with it, and he cries out until the last vestiges of strength leave his body. The only thing holding him upright is Taylor’s arm across his chest, and with the way Taylor is tensing, Tommy knows he’s right on the edge. Tommy manages to turn slightly in Taylor’s hold so that he can kiss him through his orgasm, and then they collapse into a heap of tangled limbs.
For several minutes they pant, Taylor on top of Tommy, until finally he pulls out making them both groan. Tommy feels wet. He loves knowing Tay came inside him. He feels loved and claimed in a way he hasn’t since the day that Taylor left and it’s the best feeling in the world.
“Thank you for surprising me,” Tommy whispers and leans in to kiss Tay again. That leads to many other kisses, until Taylor pulls away.
“That wasn’t all. I figured since I’d be home all day we could lay in bed. I know I’m going to crash since I haven’t slept, but at least we’ll be together, and I brought you something so you’ll be entertained.”
“Ooo, that sounds promising.” Tommy grins and slides off the bed. He needs to clean up a little before whatever Tay has planned for them. “I’ll be right back, I need to… well yeah I’m kinda a mess,” Tommy says and giggles over the come on his belly not to mention the mess Taylor left behind. He waddles to the bathroom and quickly cleans up. When he returns, Tay is just walking back into the room with what appears to be breakfast, an array of fruits along with two breakfast sandwiches, and a bag in hand.
“Okay get comfy,” Taylor suggests.
Tommy scrambles up on the bed and kicks the soiled comforter to the floor before making grabby hands at the bag in Tay’s hand.
“Alright, here, I thought you might like it,” Taylor says, handing Tommy the bag and putting the tray of food down onto the bed.
Tommy eagerly digs into the bag, and may or may not emit a high pitched squeal when he finds a box set of The Musters.
“I thought so,” Taylor chuckles and hops up on the bed beside him.
“Put one in for me?” Tommy asks hopefully.
“Sure,” Tay replies and tears at the plastic. Tommy watches Tay, and within a few minutes the TV is on and Tay is beside him again. Together they share breakfast, and once they’re finished the tray ends up in the floor for later and Taylor ends up in Tommy’s arms. Tommy watches The Munsters and runs his fingers through Taylor’s hair until he’s sure Taylor is sleeping. It’s then that Tommy gets anxious over the fact that Tay will have to leave again in the morning. Saying goodbye is just too fucking hard. Tommy wants to scream things, like ‘don’t ever leave me, promise me we’ll go together next time,’ and a million other pathetic things that he knows are unrealistic. But instead he whispers, “just always come back to me.”
Almost as if in reply, Taylor mumbles nonsense in his sleep and curls further into Tommy’s arms. Tommy exhales heavily and curls further into his lover, the early morning finally catching up with him, and he lets the TV lull him into a peaceful sleep.
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Tommy Ratliff/Taylor Hanson
Wordcount: 1790 without lyrics.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: n/a
Disclaimer: All a figment of my overactive imagination, names and likenesses used but not meant to portray the actual lives of subjects mentioned
Summary: Tommy is feeling particularly mopey because Taylor missed their three year anniversary. He’s not aware of the surprise Taylor has in store for him. Also check out the amazing song that the title comes from here.
Beta: @bloodflowsred who is completely to blame for this entire fic.
Stay here in my arms tonight
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
I just wanna be the one you’re holding onto
And if you wanna run tonight
I’d take you anywhere you want me to
I’m giving you my heart ‘cause I
I’m lost without you
‘Cause I’m lost without you
In the space of a lifetime, three years really doesn’t seem like much. But in those three years, Tommy learned more about the man he wants to be from Taylor. He’d met Taylor not too long after he’d filed for divorce. The rumors had been a mass during that time, and within an afternoon of meeting Taylor he knew they were true. Taylor Hanson, devoted husband and father of four, was gay.
Tommy himself had learned in the short time he’d been playing with Adam Lambert that he wasn’t as straight as he’d always thought. And when their paths crossed by chance at some event that blurred in with all the others, for the first time in his life, Tommy felt star struck. No, not because Taylor was ‘the chick’ from Hanson. But because Taylor had finally taken hold of his life and decided to be himself. From that night a friendship grew into something so much more. And now Taylor came home to him, to their home.
Taylor’s latest venture with his band has left Tommy alone more than he likes. He understands, having just done another show with Adam, but on night’s like these he wishes Taylor was in his arms more than anything. He has patience, sure, but on their anniversary it’s a little disheartening to receive a gift via your mailbox and a phone call with an apology because a show was booked last minute. Tommy swallows it down and hugs the pillow closer to his body as the demons in the dark gnaw at him. He can’t sleep. Every time he closes his eyes all he can see is all the girls swooning over Taylor, and the flirty smile he throws so easily during shows. His grip tightens on the pillow. It’s much too late even with the time difference for the show to still be going on, but Tay still hasn’t called. If Tommy was a smart man he would just go to sleep like a normal human being and not pine for his boyfriend like a lost puppy. But the house is just too quiet, too still for rest. The kids are with their mom for the week so there are not even the shifting noises of Ezra rolling around in his sheets, or the occasional thump from Viggo when he flails out in his sleep. His heart sinks lower, further into his stomach. Taylor forgot to call him before he went to bed.
Three years ago he would’ve never thought twice. He would've gone the fuck to sleep like a normal person. But three years ago he wasn’t stupidly fucking head over heels for someone either. The minutes tick by slowly, and still sleep won’t come. Tommy ponders how the hell he got here. He’s had needy girlfriends, but he never understood until now how they felt when all they wanted was to be with him. Now he gets it, and he feels stupidly sappy.
“Fuck, Tommy, let it go. You know he’ll be home next week,” he grumbles to himself and huffs into his pillow before flipping over onto his back and staring at the ceiling. The last time he remembers looking at the clock the glaring display told him it was sometime after four. Everything swirls around him, until sleep finally settles into his bones and he goes lax with it.
The bed shifting startles Tommy from his sleep, and by the time his brain catches up, the scent of Taylor surrounds him. Taylor drapes over him like a blanket and Tommy hums happily before he remembers Tay isn’t supposed to be home yet.
“How… what… but…” Tommy croaks, unable to get his thoughts together.
“I missed you. Caught a Red Eye back to LAX after the show. I know I missed our anniversary, but I got here as soon as I could. I missed you,” Taylor breathes against Tommy’s ear. Tommy shudders and gasps when Taylor sucks his earlobe into his mouth, tongue swirling around Tommy’s piercings.
“I… you didn’t have to,” Tommy finally mutters.
“I’ve gotta leave again tomorrow, but it’s worth it to spend some time with you. I even brought you something, but that’s just going to have to wait. I need to touch you.”
Tommy hums happily when Tay’s fingers drift lightly down his bare sides. Yes, he’s definitely missed this. Everything about Taylor being away sucks, but the thing he misses the most is the way Taylor touches him like he’s something precious. And since when did his brain turn into that of a love struck, twelve year old girl? The things Taylor managed to do to him, and one of those things happened to be pressing into Taylor’s hip hopefully.
“Missed you so much,” Tommy groans and reaches to cup Taylor’s neck. He uses the hold to draw Taylor in for a kiss, and for several minutes they share the same air, tongues tasting, lips dancing, and their bodies writhing to a rhythm as old as time. Fire blooms in Tommy’s belly, he knows it’s been way to long since Taylor has been inside him, so he pulls away. "Stop,” he whimpers. He’s so close already.
Tay stills and looks down at Tommy, eyes burning with love and need. “You want me?”
“Yes, please…” Tommy whispers and nearly melts into the sheets when Taylor makes quick work of flipping him onto his stomach to prep him. In the next breath Taylor is sliding inside him, filling up all the spaces that were so empty without him, and Tommy rears back into him. He knows he’s babbling, pleading with Taylor, and for what he doesn’t really know. But Taylor answers him, gives everything back until they’re moving together slowly. Tommy’s fingertips dig into the sheets, the sensations coursing through him are everything he’s missed so much. When they’re together like this it’s heady, not just fucking. And as much as Tommy used to hate the term making love, this is the definition of it for him. The way Taylor slowly thrusts inside him, the kisses and nips Tay leaves on his neck and shoulders while he whispers in his ear, the break in Taylor’s voice each time he bottoms out and they both gasp, and the way Taylor weaves their fingers together. Taylor’s fingers flex with every movement of their bodies together, and Tommy squeezes Tay’s hand and shifts back on his knees, tugging their twined hands beneath his body until Taylor is pressed solidly against his back.
“Love you, missed you,” Tommy gasps and Taylor draws them up onto their knees, Tommy’s back pressed firmly to Taylor’s chest.
“Love you so much. Three years baby, three years with you being the only one I wanted to wake up to,” Taylor says between moans.
“Fuck,” Tommy groans when Taylor uses the arm braced across his chest to pull him down into each thrust, deeper, and brushing sensitive nerves until Tommy sees stars at the edge of his vision. “Please, more,” Tommy pleads.
“Faster?” Tay’s voice is a growl followed by a nip to his shoulder.
“Faster, fuck, please…”
Taylor is the epitome of a sex god, the slow rolls of his hips speeding up until Tommy is delirious with it. And when Taylor uses his other hand to reach around and give him something to thrust into, Tommy is gone. He feels like his entire body explodes with it, and he cries out until the last vestiges of strength leave his body. The only thing holding him upright is Taylor’s arm across his chest, and with the way Taylor is tensing, Tommy knows he’s right on the edge. Tommy manages to turn slightly in Taylor’s hold so that he can kiss him through his orgasm, and then they collapse into a heap of tangled limbs.
For several minutes they pant, Taylor on top of Tommy, until finally he pulls out making them both groan. Tommy feels wet. He loves knowing Tay came inside him. He feels loved and claimed in a way he hasn’t since the day that Taylor left and it’s the best feeling in the world.
“Thank you for surprising me,” Tommy whispers and leans in to kiss Tay again. That leads to many other kisses, until Taylor pulls away.
“That wasn’t all. I figured since I’d be home all day we could lay in bed. I know I’m going to crash since I haven’t slept, but at least we’ll be together, and I brought you something so you’ll be entertained.”
“Ooo, that sounds promising.” Tommy grins and slides off the bed. He needs to clean up a little before whatever Tay has planned for them. “I’ll be right back, I need to… well yeah I’m kinda a mess,” Tommy says and giggles over the come on his belly not to mention the mess Taylor left behind. He waddles to the bathroom and quickly cleans up. When he returns, Tay is just walking back into the room with what appears to be breakfast, an array of fruits along with two breakfast sandwiches, and a bag in hand.
“Okay get comfy,” Taylor suggests.
Tommy scrambles up on the bed and kicks the soiled comforter to the floor before making grabby hands at the bag in Tay’s hand.
“Alright, here, I thought you might like it,” Taylor says, handing Tommy the bag and putting the tray of food down onto the bed.
Tommy eagerly digs into the bag, and may or may not emit a high pitched squeal when he finds a box set of The Musters.
“I thought so,” Taylor chuckles and hops up on the bed beside him.
“Put one in for me?” Tommy asks hopefully.
“Sure,” Tay replies and tears at the plastic. Tommy watches Tay, and within a few minutes the TV is on and Tay is beside him again. Together they share breakfast, and once they’re finished the tray ends up in the floor for later and Taylor ends up in Tommy’s arms. Tommy watches The Munsters and runs his fingers through Taylor’s hair until he’s sure Taylor is sleeping. It’s then that Tommy gets anxious over the fact that Tay will have to leave again in the morning. Saying goodbye is just too fucking hard. Tommy wants to scream things, like ‘don’t ever leave me, promise me we’ll go together next time,’ and a million other pathetic things that he knows are unrealistic. But instead he whispers, “just always come back to me.”
Almost as if in reply, Taylor mumbles nonsense in his sleep and curls further into Tommy’s arms. Tommy exhales heavily and curls further into his lover, the early morning finally catching up with him, and he lets the TV lull him into a peaceful sleep.
