Thanksgiving

[pyrosgf]

I'm completely thankful this year for the safe haven and acceptance of this fandom and the friends I've made in it. However, I hate the holidays. If it was all the same to me I would hibernate from Nov. 1 - March 31, but alas it's not gonna happen.

Thanksgiving is a hard one for me. Thanksgiving was the holiday my grandma and I did together. She basically raised me and every year we made pumpkin pies together. Since she passed, for the past 10 years I've made 8 pies every year alone. This year I didn't, I thought to myself it was time for a break. I made a pumpkin pie fake out instead. Last night I was telling a friend of mine, who's known me since my grandma got sick about not making the pies this year, and why. After I finished telling him about it, I heard something his the floor on the right side of me in front of the freezer. It was a lotion pot that usually sits on our phone table to the left of me. All the dogs were on the other side of the room. I didn't bump the table. There should have been no way for that pot to be there, but it was. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up.

December 3, would have been my grandma's birthday. My birthday is the seventh. Then Christmas, which we aren't doing this year because it has been a hard year for all of us money-wise. We're just gonna get together and have dinner. Onto the new year, Jan 22nd marks the 10 year anniversary of my grandma passing. Feb 11th my grandpa passed 6 years ago. Feb 12th my cat of 9 years passed 7 years ago. They buried my grandpa on Valentine's Day so that is another holiday I hate. Then onto March 23rd which would've been his birthday.

I know living in the past is useless. I know these anniversaries shouldn't be what I concentrate on, but yes time eases the pain but it doesn't ever make it go away.

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for this fandom and my friends in it, the couple of real life friends I have who stand by me, and my amazing if not occasionally annoying family.

Hope you all have a safe and happy holidays.

Love,
Pyro

Comments

[thrace-adams.livejournal.com]

*hugs you hard* It is hard losing people - holidays are the hardest. My mom died almost 20 years ago and there are still days that the pain is so much that it makes me catch my breath. You're not living in the past. It took me over 10 years to get rid of some of my mom's clothes that's I'd saved. I still have one sweater of hers because I just can't part with it. *HUGS*

You deal with it how you deal with it, nobody can tell you if it's wrong or right, it just is.

[pyrosgf.livejournal.com]

*huggles*... I know how that is... I still live in my grandparents home and so much of them is still in the house.