Dude Looks like a Lady
Mar. 19th, 2010 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyrosgfTitle: Dude Looks Like a Lady
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Adommy, Adam/Talia
Wordcount: 2604
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Umm I’m not sure how to warn for this because it has kinda a gender flip but it’s not the usual take on it I guess. It’s also verging on crack.
Disclaimer: Nope I don’t own them. Don’t claim it ever happened and all that jazz.
Notes: So this is loosely based on an episode of Two and A Half Men. I’ve watched this episode many times and it struck me it would make a pretty interesting basis for a fic so here we are.
Beta: The loverly![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scorpio_15 who understands my madness.
Three years prior
Adam could tell he was three sheets to the wind by the mere fact that there was a beautiful but all too feminine body pressed into him. To say she wasn’t exactly his normal flavor of the week might be the biggest understatement of the world, but as her lips pressed against his, he wasn’t sure he cared. She was soft and plaint with long dark hair just right for his fingers, and she smelled and tasted of cotton candy. He might have felt a tad bit worse if he were making out with some random chick, but Talia knew the deal, and when she looked up at him with big brown eyes there was a hint mischief there. Her tiny hand cupped his cheek and she nipped his bottom lip. Talia was perfect, at least when it came to his standards for a female. Slim, curvy in all the right places, and as her body pressed into him he realized that Talia knew she was missing the vital pieces that aroused Adam and was enjoying the game anyway. Their lips and tongues continued a languid dance of tasting and devouring one another and before long they were swallowed in the rest of the crowd of writhing bodies with the music pounding around them.
Fame was a new thing for Adam. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was a household name, or that people honestly thought for an instant he was straight. Really, were people so blind that after he wore fucking rhinestones at the finale of Idol, his sexual preference was still a question? Adam really enjoyed the photo shoot for Rolling stones though, aside from the snake that was a tad to close to his dick for comfort. Other than that, he couldn’t have asked for a better way to tell America the obvious. It was, after all, something he would never forget.
One of the many things he won’t be forgetting. Another that comes to mind is the audition for his band. Monte had been a given and Adam made that very clear early on when the band idea was tossed around, but as the other members came into the fold everything just kind of clicked. All that had been left was to find a bass player, which turned out to be the biggest pain in the ass ever. I mean you’d think since they were holding auditions in Hollywood that bass players would be swarming in like flies, but no. The few that trickled in were rather lack-luster, no personality, and had relatively no interest that he was Adam-fucking-Lambert for that matter. Although he didn’t expect to be treated like a rock star, he did expect manners that these men didn’t possess. Not one introduced himself or smiled, no conversation, just the same bass lines again and again until Adam was sure he was going to pull out his own hair. It went on like that until a breath of cute little sunshine walked in the door; small framed, eyes lined much like Adam’s, dark fringe hanging in one eye and his face wearing a bashful smile. What struck Adam the most was the intelligent gaze he’d received from the one eye he could see. Eye contact. Success, he thought to himself, hoping like hell this little guy could bang out something awesome on that bass.
“Hi, I’m Tommy Ratliff.” He walked forward and offered his hand first to Adam. “Adam, nice to meet you,” he said, his voice very soft as he shook Adam’s hand firmly. “Umm hi.” He repeated the process with Monte, grasping his hand as Monte introduced himself.
Adam was pleasantly surprised with Tommy’s friendliness and when Tommy walked away, he couldn’t help but notice the sashay of the smaller man’s hips. He also couldn’t resist staring at Tommy’s ass so finely shaped in those tight jeans when he bent over to pick up his bass.
“God please let him be able to play,” Adam whispered to Monte, who chuckled in response. “Yeah we all know what you’re interested in and it sure isn’t his playing,” Monte supplied, quirking an eyebrow as he watched Tommy adjust his bass on his shoulder.
Sure enough as Adam and Monte watched with rapt attention, Tommy played Fever, bouncing, rocking out, and head banging. Monte turned to Adam, then smiled and nodded.
When the lively man finally stilled, Adam gave him a quick smirk before offering him the job and much to his delight, Tommy said yes.
…
All those events had led up to this night, Adam’s first appearance on television since Idol. Every nerve ending in his body was amped up for this. The nervous coil in his belly wound tighter as he watched Gaga perform, but as soon as he was standing on the stage and the opening lines left his mouth, he relaxed into the song. This is what every fiber of his being knew how to do and he felt high with all the adrenaline running throughout his body. With each step he took, he lost himself to the performance, provocatively dragging a girl across the stage before grabbing the leather leashes in hand and snapping them as the words poured from his lips. It was euphoric, and when he tugged the male dancer’s head into his crotch he felt a tingling thrill up his spine. He pranced up the steps, repeating the move with one of the girls before heading up the rest of the stairs. His head swam for an instant and he lost his footing, but somehow managed roll out of it and land on his knees. Close call, but he regained his footing and continued the performance. The next few seconds were a blur until a foot was resting between his thighs and he yanked on the girl’s costume like a trolley stop. He strutted up the scaffolding once more and then a sudden inspiration struck him.
“Can you handle what I’m about to do?” The words left him just as he reached Tommy and he pulled him forward over the keyboard so that their lips met. He tasted of cotton candy and when Adam pulled away, he caught Tommy’s eye. It took just the momentary eye contact and the flavor on his tongue for it to click. Adam knew Tommy saw the realization, but now was definitely not the time to talk it over, so he continued to sing with his brain in a haze until it was finally over. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand had groped his crotch and he was flipping off the crowd, but the only thing on his mind was Talia or Tommy. His mind buzzed in confusion.
Adam didn’t have a chance to confront Tommy. He was whisked away to give interviews, which led to being prodded over the kiss - the kiss that may have just changed his life and he almost laughed hysterically when they had the nerve to ask if it was planned. He couldn’t have planned this, not even if he’d tried. When the interviews were over he was taken straight to the plane because he had an appearance in New York tomorrow. No, later today, he thought after checking his watch. Just a few hours away, and when he should have been sleeping he was wide-awake and tense with worry. Tommy was sitting in the seat right behind him.
By the time The Early Show started Adam was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He hadn’t had a moment alone with Tommy and it was maddening, but thankfully the awkwardness between them was felt but not shown. The rest of the day was a blur of interviews and tapings, and when he finally made it back to the hotel he was pretty sure his brain was fried. He flopped onto the bed, feeling more like the living dead than he ever had, and sleep quickly overtook him. No thoughts, no dreams, only silence.
…
When the fog lifted he felt tugged into consciousness. It took him several minutes to discover that it was the insistent rapping at his door that had roused him. One quick glance at his watch told him it was too late for it to be any of the hotel staff, so he presumed he knew the source. Sure enough, when he opened the door, the tiny waif of a man he’d known for the past few weeks as Tommy was standing in the hall, his eyes glazed with fear. Adam tried to smile reassuringly, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Instead he took a step backwards in invitation for the smaller man to enter. Tommy quickly came in and took a seat on one of the chairs at the end of the bed. Adam watched him for a moment as he ran his hand through his product filled hair, a nervous habit, and then sat down on the foot of the bed.
“Talia,” Adam sighed, and it wasn’t a question. He knew it was true by those eyes that were now staring at him, brimming with unshed tears.
“Tommy,” the smaller one corrected automatically. “Listen I know you deserve an explanation, but how exactly do you tell someone that you used to be a chick they made out with sometimes at bars? Especially when that someone is now famous and I’m auditioning for his band.” Tommy’s laughter was high and a tad manic. “I mean that isn’t just something that comes up in casual conversation, ‘oh hi Adam remember me? Talia, well yeah I’m Tommy now.’ See? Not really a convenient time to tell you, but now that you know, do you have any questions?”
“So many.” Adam shook his head, not quite believing his ears. “But why is certainly the first one that comes to mind.”
“I was never comfortable in my own skin, that’s the simplest way I can put it, Adam. I always felt like a boy growing up, and besides the vagina confusion, when I got boobs I cried for weeks. My poor mother thought it was my hormones, but God knows at that age I couldn’t tell my mother that I felt like a boy. She wouldn’t have understood. So I waited, and worked until I got enough money, and then I went to Canada for the operations. I left Talia, and came back Tommy. I’d only been home a few months when I heard about the auditions, and I’ve played bass for years so I took a chance and hoped you wouldn’t notice. What gave me away anyway?”
“You tasted like cotton candy and before you always tasted of cotton candy. Your eyes said the rest. Okay so how did it all work? I mean can you… umm is everything as it appears to me?”
Tommy’s laughter filled the air as he finally relaxed a fraction. “Cotton candy bubblegum. Never thought it would give me away. Hadn’t thought about it, I guess, and to answer your question yep, I can pee standing up. You don’t wanna know all the technical shit, trust me. I’m not even sure how the docs did it, but with the hormone treatments they made my clit into a penis. I mean who knew you could even do that. That was the last procedure. The boobs were the first things to go. I actually felt so much better after they were gone that for a while I wasn’t sure I was going to go any further with it. Eventually though I just wanted to feel complete. I wanted everything to match how I felt inside and funnily enough, peeing sitting down fucked with my mind more than you can imagine.”
Adam nodded, his fingers brushing his bottom lip as he took everything in. “So umm did it affect your sexual preference?”
Again with the high tinkling laughter. Tommy moved to sit beside Adam. “No Adam, nothing changed, I always liked men. Do you know how confusing it is to like boys and feel like a boy?”
At that Adam broke out in a fit of giggles. “Matter of fact…”
“Yeah well I guess you do, maybe I should have specified how confusing it is to be a girl that feels like a boy who also likes boys. Yeah I don’t think you can really identify with that, but does all this mean that I’m your flavor now?”
Adam’s eyes roamed Tommy’s body, everything appearing to be what he looked for in a guy, small, feminine, and most definitely beautiful. “You are most definitely my flavor, if I can forget the fact that you used to have a vagina.” Adam smiled and cupped Tommy’s cheek, feeling the light stubble that had grown in since he’d shaved. His lips pressed into Tommy’s and everything felt right.
Before he could over think things too much, their clothes somehow made it to the floor and they were caught in a warm embrace, Adam’s fingers wandering over Tommy’s quivering hole. “Please.” The word was a warm breath in his ear and he reached into his bag on the floor and retrieved the lube and a condom. Wordlessly he popped the cap and let a slick finger breach the squirming man beneath him. Tommy groaned and panted softly as Adam worked him open and it wasn’t until Adam curled his finger that it dawned on him that he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for. Tommy’s breathy giggle reached his ear. “S’ok Adam…still feels good. More.” With time Adam managed to work three slick fingers into Tommy while his eyes wandered curiously over that slim body. He could see the scars on Tommy’s chest, the only indication he used to have breasts, and as he looked down to Tommy’s cock and balls he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about that too much.
“Good?” Adam asked and when Tommy nodded, he withdrew his fingers and quickly rolled on the condom. “Anything else I should know?” he asked as he lined up his cock with Tommy’s hole. Tommy shook his head no, his hips writhing toward Adam’s cock desperately and with one tiny thrust the head was engulfed. Tommy whined long and sharp, his tiny body shuddering and Adam stilled until those brown eyes stared back at him. Another nod and Adam thrust further inside a little at a time until his hips are flush with Tommy’s ass. He quickly brought Tommy’s knees to his shoulders and then he was moving, slow and careful. Their lips shared languid kisses as Tommy whimpered and moaned into his mouth. They got lost in one another, Tommy the more vocal of the pair, and soon he was gasping as the hand on his cock drew the orgasm from him. There was no cum, but everything else felt the same to Adam as he thrust once, twice, and then exploded, his lips against Tommy’s neck as he panted and shivered.
When Adam finally managed to pull out, he flopped beside Tommy and tossed the condom to the floor. He looked over to a pair of sleepy dark eyes, a wry smile playing on his lips. “So I guess that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase dude looks like a lady.” Tommy laughed and curled up to Adam, too exhausted for words but seeking the comfort of the larger man’s arms. This wasn’t exactly what Adam had expected when he’d began the search for a bass player, but he’s beginning to think that this just might’ve been better than he’d imagined.
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Adommy, Adam/Talia
Wordcount: 2604
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Umm I’m not sure how to warn for this because it has kinda a gender flip but it’s not the usual take on it I guess. It’s also verging on crack.
Disclaimer: Nope I don’t own them. Don’t claim it ever happened and all that jazz.
Notes: So this is loosely based on an episode of Two and A Half Men. I’ve watched this episode many times and it struck me it would make a pretty interesting basis for a fic so here we are.
Beta: The loverly
scorpio_15 who understands my madness.Three years prior
Adam could tell he was three sheets to the wind by the mere fact that there was a beautiful but all too feminine body pressed into him. To say she wasn’t exactly his normal flavor of the week might be the biggest understatement of the world, but as her lips pressed against his, he wasn’t sure he cared. She was soft and plaint with long dark hair just right for his fingers, and she smelled and tasted of cotton candy. He might have felt a tad bit worse if he were making out with some random chick, but Talia knew the deal, and when she looked up at him with big brown eyes there was a hint mischief there. Her tiny hand cupped his cheek and she nipped his bottom lip. Talia was perfect, at least when it came to his standards for a female. Slim, curvy in all the right places, and as her body pressed into him he realized that Talia knew she was missing the vital pieces that aroused Adam and was enjoying the game anyway. Their lips and tongues continued a languid dance of tasting and devouring one another and before long they were swallowed in the rest of the crowd of writhing bodies with the music pounding around them.
Fame was a new thing for Adam. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was a household name, or that people honestly thought for an instant he was straight. Really, were people so blind that after he wore fucking rhinestones at the finale of Idol, his sexual preference was still a question? Adam really enjoyed the photo shoot for Rolling stones though, aside from the snake that was a tad to close to his dick for comfort. Other than that, he couldn’t have asked for a better way to tell America the obvious. It was, after all, something he would never forget.
One of the many things he won’t be forgetting. Another that comes to mind is the audition for his band. Monte had been a given and Adam made that very clear early on when the band idea was tossed around, but as the other members came into the fold everything just kind of clicked. All that had been left was to find a bass player, which turned out to be the biggest pain in the ass ever. I mean you’d think since they were holding auditions in Hollywood that bass players would be swarming in like flies, but no. The few that trickled in were rather lack-luster, no personality, and had relatively no interest that he was Adam-fucking-Lambert for that matter. Although he didn’t expect to be treated like a rock star, he did expect manners that these men didn’t possess. Not one introduced himself or smiled, no conversation, just the same bass lines again and again until Adam was sure he was going to pull out his own hair. It went on like that until a breath of cute little sunshine walked in the door; small framed, eyes lined much like Adam’s, dark fringe hanging in one eye and his face wearing a bashful smile. What struck Adam the most was the intelligent gaze he’d received from the one eye he could see. Eye contact. Success, he thought to himself, hoping like hell this little guy could bang out something awesome on that bass.
“Hi, I’m Tommy Ratliff.” He walked forward and offered his hand first to Adam. “Adam, nice to meet you,” he said, his voice very soft as he shook Adam’s hand firmly. “Umm hi.” He repeated the process with Monte, grasping his hand as Monte introduced himself.
Adam was pleasantly surprised with Tommy’s friendliness and when Tommy walked away, he couldn’t help but notice the sashay of the smaller man’s hips. He also couldn’t resist staring at Tommy’s ass so finely shaped in those tight jeans when he bent over to pick up his bass.
“God please let him be able to play,” Adam whispered to Monte, who chuckled in response. “Yeah we all know what you’re interested in and it sure isn’t his playing,” Monte supplied, quirking an eyebrow as he watched Tommy adjust his bass on his shoulder.
Sure enough as Adam and Monte watched with rapt attention, Tommy played Fever, bouncing, rocking out, and head banging. Monte turned to Adam, then smiled and nodded.
When the lively man finally stilled, Adam gave him a quick smirk before offering him the job and much to his delight, Tommy said yes.
All those events had led up to this night, Adam’s first appearance on television since Idol. Every nerve ending in his body was amped up for this. The nervous coil in his belly wound tighter as he watched Gaga perform, but as soon as he was standing on the stage and the opening lines left his mouth, he relaxed into the song. This is what every fiber of his being knew how to do and he felt high with all the adrenaline running throughout his body. With each step he took, he lost himself to the performance, provocatively dragging a girl across the stage before grabbing the leather leashes in hand and snapping them as the words poured from his lips. It was euphoric, and when he tugged the male dancer’s head into his crotch he felt a tingling thrill up his spine. He pranced up the steps, repeating the move with one of the girls before heading up the rest of the stairs. His head swam for an instant and he lost his footing, but somehow managed roll out of it and land on his knees. Close call, but he regained his footing and continued the performance. The next few seconds were a blur until a foot was resting between his thighs and he yanked on the girl’s costume like a trolley stop. He strutted up the scaffolding once more and then a sudden inspiration struck him.
“Can you handle what I’m about to do?” The words left him just as he reached Tommy and he pulled him forward over the keyboard so that their lips met. He tasted of cotton candy and when Adam pulled away, he caught Tommy’s eye. It took just the momentary eye contact and the flavor on his tongue for it to click. Adam knew Tommy saw the realization, but now was definitely not the time to talk it over, so he continued to sing with his brain in a haze until it was finally over. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand had groped his crotch and he was flipping off the crowd, but the only thing on his mind was Talia or Tommy. His mind buzzed in confusion.
Adam didn’t have a chance to confront Tommy. He was whisked away to give interviews, which led to being prodded over the kiss - the kiss that may have just changed his life and he almost laughed hysterically when they had the nerve to ask if it was planned. He couldn’t have planned this, not even if he’d tried. When the interviews were over he was taken straight to the plane because he had an appearance in New York tomorrow. No, later today, he thought after checking his watch. Just a few hours away, and when he should have been sleeping he was wide-awake and tense with worry. Tommy was sitting in the seat right behind him.
By the time The Early Show started Adam was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He hadn’t had a moment alone with Tommy and it was maddening, but thankfully the awkwardness between them was felt but not shown. The rest of the day was a blur of interviews and tapings, and when he finally made it back to the hotel he was pretty sure his brain was fried. He flopped onto the bed, feeling more like the living dead than he ever had, and sleep quickly overtook him. No thoughts, no dreams, only silence.
When the fog lifted he felt tugged into consciousness. It took him several minutes to discover that it was the insistent rapping at his door that had roused him. One quick glance at his watch told him it was too late for it to be any of the hotel staff, so he presumed he knew the source. Sure enough, when he opened the door, the tiny waif of a man he’d known for the past few weeks as Tommy was standing in the hall, his eyes glazed with fear. Adam tried to smile reassuringly, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Instead he took a step backwards in invitation for the smaller man to enter. Tommy quickly came in and took a seat on one of the chairs at the end of the bed. Adam watched him for a moment as he ran his hand through his product filled hair, a nervous habit, and then sat down on the foot of the bed.
“Talia,” Adam sighed, and it wasn’t a question. He knew it was true by those eyes that were now staring at him, brimming with unshed tears.
“Tommy,” the smaller one corrected automatically. “Listen I know you deserve an explanation, but how exactly do you tell someone that you used to be a chick they made out with sometimes at bars? Especially when that someone is now famous and I’m auditioning for his band.” Tommy’s laughter was high and a tad manic. “I mean that isn’t just something that comes up in casual conversation, ‘oh hi Adam remember me? Talia, well yeah I’m Tommy now.’ See? Not really a convenient time to tell you, but now that you know, do you have any questions?”
“So many.” Adam shook his head, not quite believing his ears. “But why is certainly the first one that comes to mind.”
“I was never comfortable in my own skin, that’s the simplest way I can put it, Adam. I always felt like a boy growing up, and besides the vagina confusion, when I got boobs I cried for weeks. My poor mother thought it was my hormones, but God knows at that age I couldn’t tell my mother that I felt like a boy. She wouldn’t have understood. So I waited, and worked until I got enough money, and then I went to Canada for the operations. I left Talia, and came back Tommy. I’d only been home a few months when I heard about the auditions, and I’ve played bass for years so I took a chance and hoped you wouldn’t notice. What gave me away anyway?”
“You tasted like cotton candy and before you always tasted of cotton candy. Your eyes said the rest. Okay so how did it all work? I mean can you… umm is everything as it appears to me?”
Tommy’s laughter filled the air as he finally relaxed a fraction. “Cotton candy bubblegum. Never thought it would give me away. Hadn’t thought about it, I guess, and to answer your question yep, I can pee standing up. You don’t wanna know all the technical shit, trust me. I’m not even sure how the docs did it, but with the hormone treatments they made my clit into a penis. I mean who knew you could even do that. That was the last procedure. The boobs were the first things to go. I actually felt so much better after they were gone that for a while I wasn’t sure I was going to go any further with it. Eventually though I just wanted to feel complete. I wanted everything to match how I felt inside and funnily enough, peeing sitting down fucked with my mind more than you can imagine.”
Adam nodded, his fingers brushing his bottom lip as he took everything in. “So umm did it affect your sexual preference?”
Again with the high tinkling laughter. Tommy moved to sit beside Adam. “No Adam, nothing changed, I always liked men. Do you know how confusing it is to like boys and feel like a boy?”
At that Adam broke out in a fit of giggles. “Matter of fact…”
“Yeah well I guess you do, maybe I should have specified how confusing it is to be a girl that feels like a boy who also likes boys. Yeah I don’t think you can really identify with that, but does all this mean that I’m your flavor now?”
Adam’s eyes roamed Tommy’s body, everything appearing to be what he looked for in a guy, small, feminine, and most definitely beautiful. “You are most definitely my flavor, if I can forget the fact that you used to have a vagina.” Adam smiled and cupped Tommy’s cheek, feeling the light stubble that had grown in since he’d shaved. His lips pressed into Tommy’s and everything felt right.
Before he could over think things too much, their clothes somehow made it to the floor and they were caught in a warm embrace, Adam’s fingers wandering over Tommy’s quivering hole. “Please.” The word was a warm breath in his ear and he reached into his bag on the floor and retrieved the lube and a condom. Wordlessly he popped the cap and let a slick finger breach the squirming man beneath him. Tommy groaned and panted softly as Adam worked him open and it wasn’t until Adam curled his finger that it dawned on him that he wasn’t going to find what he was looking for. Tommy’s breathy giggle reached his ear. “S’ok Adam…still feels good. More.” With time Adam managed to work three slick fingers into Tommy while his eyes wandered curiously over that slim body. He could see the scars on Tommy’s chest, the only indication he used to have breasts, and as he looked down to Tommy’s cock and balls he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about that too much.
“Good?” Adam asked and when Tommy nodded, he withdrew his fingers and quickly rolled on the condom. “Anything else I should know?” he asked as he lined up his cock with Tommy’s hole. Tommy shook his head no, his hips writhing toward Adam’s cock desperately and with one tiny thrust the head was engulfed. Tommy whined long and sharp, his tiny body shuddering and Adam stilled until those brown eyes stared back at him. Another nod and Adam thrust further inside a little at a time until his hips are flush with Tommy’s ass. He quickly brought Tommy’s knees to his shoulders and then he was moving, slow and careful. Their lips shared languid kisses as Tommy whimpered and moaned into his mouth. They got lost in one another, Tommy the more vocal of the pair, and soon he was gasping as the hand on his cock drew the orgasm from him. There was no cum, but everything else felt the same to Adam as he thrust once, twice, and then exploded, his lips against Tommy’s neck as he panted and shivered.
When Adam finally managed to pull out, he flopped beside Tommy and tossed the condom to the floor. He looked over to a pair of sleepy dark eyes, a wry smile playing on his lips. “So I guess that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase dude looks like a lady.” Tommy laughed and curled up to Adam, too exhausted for words but seeking the comfort of the larger man’s arms. This wasn’t exactly what Adam had expected when he’d began the search for a bass player, but he’s beginning to think that this just might’ve been better than he’d imagined.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-19 06:58 am (UTC)And yeah I so get that gender confusion at times, gay guy in a woman's body.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-19 07:03 am (UTC)Gender confusion sucks, but I can't imagine going through the entire process of changing your body.