The Ghosts of Lovers Past
Dec. 5th, 2009 01:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyrosgfTitle: The Ghosts of Lovers Past
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Kradam, Bradam, Dradam
Wordcount: Roughly 7000 (oneshot)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexytimes, some paranormal shit, and boys with potty mouths. Loosely based on A Christmas Carol.
Disclaimer: Nope I don’t own them. Don’t claim it ever happened and all that jazz.
Notes Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
aiholidaybash for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kradambomb.
Prompt: Crack!Fic-ish/A Christmas Carol-ish but doesn't have to be true to the story - Adam Lambert is a bitter and jaded rock star. There was a time when he loved to perform to the masses but over the years he has grown to hate his legions of adoring (and demanding) fans who, in turn, end up adoring him even more. He is never alone but he's always lonely. Then one drunken night, he is visited by the Ghosts of His Lovers Past (or past lovers) aka the Three Spirits or the Three Men He Loved The Most - Brad, Drake and Kris. Must include three flashback scenes of how his relationship with each guy soured. Then Adam realizes one of them is "THE ONE". You can choose who he picks but since I am a Kradam fan, I would love it if he picks Kris. Kthx! =) Happy ending is optional, i.e. they could live happily ever after or, even after Adam chooses, the guy doesn't necessarily have to want him back.
PS: Thanks you so much for this prompt. I think I’ve had more fun writing this than anything else I’ve ever taken the time to write. I also want to say I’m sorry that this ended up being so long, but I do hope it makes you as happy as it has made me. Merry Christmas!
Beta: My darlingalyssand who put up with the three fics I plopped on her for the aiholidaybash. I really have to thank you because you control my cheese factor and really made this fic even better.
This is the story of a rock star that has everything he could ever want. This man has success, money, and both men and women who would give anything just to be near him. His fans hang on to his every word even if those words lately have been ‘leave me alone.’ Still the fans and paparazzi follow him everywhere. He’s never alone, but his dulling eyes speak volumes of his loneliness. He’s bitter that he’s got no one to love, but all too often forgets why. That is, until the day that the Fates decided they’d had enough of his moping ways, that this man needed a reminder of just what lead him to being alone.
It’s Christmas Eve and I walk off the stage in hopes that I can just go home, but it’s never that easy. Even being in LA, it will still be a fight to get home before midnight. I glance at my watch noting that it’s only ten. With it being a holiday I hold onto the hope that the fans will just go home tonight to spend time with their families instead of waiting around for me to sign autographs.
I quickly gather the few things that I have backstage and head toward the nearest exit, not bothering to change out of my stage-wear.
I can hear them chattering before I even make it to the door. Permanent marker in hand, I brace myself for the screaming before pushing open the door. The wall of noise that follows leaves me wishing that I had remembered my earplugs. I quickly adjust the smile on my face before putting my index finger to my lips in hopes of calming them.
“Guys, come on now, quite please.”
The roar calms as I walk toward the barricade.
“Sorry guys, but I can only sign tonight, I don’t have time for pictures. It’s Christmas Eve and I have family to get home to.”
I work the line signing everything shoved at me until finally I’m at the end and the crowd starts to dissolve. A tiny girl wearing a green sparkly dress watches me intently as I start to walk to my car.
“Mr. Lambert,” Comes her tiny voice. “Why do you look so sad?”
“I’m fine sweetie.” The rest of the crowd has gone now. “I’m just a little tired. Where’s your mommy?”
“I know the truth Mr. Lambert. You really don’t have anyone to go home to tonight. You hurt every man you’ve ever loved and tonight the Ghosts of your Lover’s Past will visit you. They will show you exactly why you’re still going home to an empty house. Sweet dreams Adam.”
I blink as her words sink in and when I open my eyes she’s gone. I shake my head wearily. God, now I’m imagining things. Get a grip!
And so the seed had been planted for good ole Adam to take a journey down memory lane.
After much too much Scotch I finally feel the tension leaving my body. I don’t even feel my head hitting the pillow.
“Adam?”
I jump awake at the sound of my name. That voice is so familiar. I open my eyes to see Brad peering into my face.
“Bitch, get up! I’m the first of your visitors tonight and I’ve got a lot to show you so get a move on.”
“Really funny Brad, how the hell did you get in here?”
“I’m not Brad really. I’m just your first tour guide. You’re going to be exploring past relationships and why you failed at love.”
“Excuse me for not buying this, but…”
Brad reaches out to grab my arm.
“Fine we’ll do this the hard way.” He huffs.
The next thing I know we are sitting on the couch in my old apartment.
“Believe me now?”
I nod.
“Okay then watch carefully.”
The door opens and Brad walks in soon followed by Adam. The tension in the room is so thick it is hard to breathe.
“Adam you are not my mother and neither am I yours.”
“I know that.”
“Then why do you insist on being up my ass about everything all the time? You’re smothering me! I really do not need you to baby-sit me when I go to the store to pick up condoms. I’m a big boy, I can do it all by myself.”
“I thought you liked me up your ass.”
“Damn it Adam, focus. I’m serious! You’ve got to give me some space!”
The apartment fades and then we are sitting in Upright Cabaret.
“So, do you remember that conversation?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then watch.”
Adam and Brad are sitting at a table near the back.
“Adam I’m gonna go to the bar and get a drink. Do you want anything?”
“No that’s okay baby I’ll just come with you.”
Brad rolls his eyes.
“What? I just want to show off my sexy boyfriend.”
“Sure you do Adam.”
“So are you seeing a pattern in our relationship yet?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay then maybe this will refresh your memory.”
I blink and we are once again at my old apartment.
The door flies open and Brad storms in.
“Adam where are you?”
“In the bedroom. I’m coming baby.”
“Get out here now!”
Adam walks into the living room looking flustered.
“How fucking dare you! I told you I was going to the club tonight with Cass since you were working. I get a strange call from Cass a little while ago telling me he was sorry I wasn’t going to be able to make it, and that he hoped I got to feeling better. Only when he realized I had no clue what he was on about did he tell me you’d called to let him know I was sick and couldn’t make it. All because you’re working tonight and don’t want me out enjoying myself without you.”
“That’s not it!”
“Bullshit! I’ve had e-fucking-nough of your smothering bullshit! I’m done! I’m not doing this with you anymore, Adam. Goodbye.”
Brad storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
“Now do you see it? You pushed me right out of your life” A sadness passes over Brad’s features. “Just know I really did love you Adam.”
The next thing I know I’m back in the warmth of my bed. I glance over to the clock. It’s two in the morning. I close my eyes again, unable to keep from pondering the mistakes that I made with Brad. He was the first person I gave my heart to, and the day he left, he handed it back to me in pieces. The loneliness tightens my chest as I drift off to sleep.
“Adam?”
I hear my name again and it pulls me from the sleep I so desperately need. This voice, however, is more hesitant than the last. I open my eyes to see Drake standing at the foot of my bed, his eyes looking so very haunted.
Drake and I started seeing each other while I was on American Idol, and to say that things ended badly between us would be putting it lightly.
“Come with me Adam. It’s time you face the mistakes that you made instead of hiding from them.”
And with that, he grabs me by the arm. A moment later, we are sitting in Déjà vu, a restaurant I took Drake to one of the nights off during the Idol tour. I remember this place though I can’t for the life of me remember where it’s located.
“Pay attention Adam, you have a realization that you need to come to tonight. The fate of someone you love depends on it.”
Adam and Drake are sitting face to face, their hands entwined, the only thing between them is the cozy little table. It’s been such a long time since they’ve been able to just spend some time together with all the craziness of the tour.
“So what movie are we going to see?”
“Oh Adam, like it matters. You know we won’t be watching it anyway.”
“Good point.”
Drake’s smile is genuine because for the first time in ages he has Adam to himself and there’s nothing standing in the way of them having the perfect night. After the movie Adam and Drake will go back to Adam’s hotel and spend the night wrapped up in each other.
“Dinner is served Gentlemen. I hope you enjoy the food. If there is anything you need please don’t hesitate to ask.” The waiter places their plates in front of them and quickly makes himself scarce.
Before Adam manages to sink his fork into his dinner his cell phone rings. He frowns for a moment and looks at the display screen.
“I’m sorry honey I thought I had turned it off, but it’s Kris and he wouldn’t call unless it was important.”
Drake’s face falls as he watches Adam answer the phone.
“Hey Kris what’s up… no… really… can it wait?… no… shit okay give me thirty minutes and I’ll be there.”
Adam hangs up his phone and looks at Drake apologetically.
“I’m sorry honey. Kris needs someone to do some backup vocals on a track for his album and the singer backed out. He has to get this track finished tonight and needs someone for backup. I have to go help him out. He’d do the same thing for me.”
“Of course he would.”
“Don’t be like that Drake. You can take the car. I’ll catch a cab over to the studio.”
“Yeah, alright.”
Adam gets up and rushes toward the waiter and hands him his credit card. Drake watches as the waiter runs Adam’s credit card before handing Adam the slip to sign and hands him his receipt. Adam turns toward Drake and blows him a kiss before heading for the exit.
“That was the beginning of the end Adam.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Just pay attention, okay?”
Drake again wraps his fingers around my wrist and in moments we are sitting inside a hotel room in some nameless hotel.
Adam and Kris sit on the bed facing each other. Kris’s face is streaked with tears.
“Kris you have to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you unless you tell me. You know I’m only here for tonight’s show so you need to speak before I have to leave for the arena. Come on Kris you know you can talk to me.” Adam pleaded.
“Adam… God Adam… I’m a failure.”
“What are you talking about? Your album is amazing and it’s selling like crazy!”
“It’s not… it’s not about my career Adam. I’m a complete mess! I can’t keep up this lie anymore. Katy and I are getting a divorce. It feels like I haven’t had a decent conversation with her since you and I became roommates at the start of Idol”
“Oh Kris. I’m so sorry, but how is that living a lie?”
Adam pulls Kris into his arms.
“I never loved Katy, and marrying her was just something I was supposed to do. But while I was on Idol I fell in love with someone. I can’t go another day pretending that I’m someone I’m not.”
“Who are you pretending to be?”
“It’s not who I’m pretending to be Adam, it’s what I am. I’m tired of pretending that I’m this straight unassuming guy completely in love with his wife, when in all actuality I’ve been dying to kiss you since the first day I met you. Then we became roommates and each day I found myself falling more in love with you.”
Kris leans forward and captures Adam’s lips and as they lose themselves in the kiss, they fail to notice the door opening.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Adam freezes mid-kiss before his head snaps up to look at Drake.
“I… uhh… what are you doing here?”
“I thought I would drop in and surprise you, but it looks like Kris already beat me to it.”
“It’s not what it looks like, Drake. It’s not Adam’s fault. I came onto him and I’m really sorry.”
Kris quickly rises to his feet and makes his exit.
“Is that the truth Adam?”
“Yeah… that’s exactly what happened.”
“You remember that night don’t you?”
“I do.”
“But that wasn’t the end of it, was it?”
Another flash, and we were back at my home in LA. The same one I’m living in now.
Adam and Kris are in Adam’s bed. Moans, groans, pants, and the sound of skin hitting skin echo against the walls.
“Harder Adam… faster… please.”
“I’ve got you Kris, I’ve got you. Come on baby. Cum for me.”
Kris shoots all over his chest and Adam’s hands. Adam soon joins Kris in climax. Minutes pass before Adam finally moves to fall beside Kris.
“I love you Adam. I love you so much. I never want to be without you.”
“I love you too Kris. I want you so much. ”
The door creaks open to reveal a furious-looking Drake who has had a view of their entire little show.
“I knew it. This whole time! You know what Adam? I’m sorry I’m never going to be good enough for you. Stay where you are Kris, I’m just going to go. I hope you two are happy now because this thing you have isn’t going to last. Adam can’t have a relationship without fucking it up somehow, isn’t that right sweetie? Goodbye Adam.”
Drake storms from the room leaving the bedroom door wide-open.
“I’m sorry Drake. I never got to apologize to you for that.”
“It’s all in the past honey. Now you just have to wake up and see the truth.”
Once again I find myself back in my bed. So many emotions are racking my system. God, it’s four in the morning and I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all. I can’t seem to shake this huge feeling of dread because I know that as soon as I get back to sleep it will be time for the main event. My eyelids are so heavy though.
“Adam?”
Even with my eyes shut his voice haunts me, and when I open them I know exactly whom I will find. He’s the man that still haunts my dreams.
“Kris.” I whisper.
Before I even manage to open my eyes his hand is wrapped around my wrist and we are in some backstage area.
“Adam please take all of this in, it’s extremely important.”
Adam is sitting on a burgundy couch with his legs crossed, silently huffing as his cell rings.
“Hello.”
“Hey Kris.”
“No Kris I don’t have time to talk right now.”
“Yes we will talk when I get home. I promise I will be there.”
“I really have to go.”
Adam hits the end button on the phone before getting up to take the stage.
“I know you’re only hearing your end of the conversation, but I know you remember what I was trying to tell you.”
“Something about meeting up for coffee and that you had some news.”
“Yep.”
The room around us gets misty and then we were sitting in a coffee shop.
Kris is sitting in the corner booth alone with his cell phone against his ear.
“Hey Adam, you said you would meet me here today so we could talk. I’m tired of always talking to your voicemail, but this can’t wait. I thought you might want to know I’ve been nominated for a Grammy for our song. Anyway, I love you. Call me when you get this.”
“Then you missed the Grammy’s because you had to fly to New York for a talk show.” Kris’s voice is bitter even to my ears.
“Kris I’m sorry, but you know I had to.”
“Save it.”
There is a bright flash and then I’m sitting in my house again. The clock says it’s just after eleven and the house is dark.
Adam walks in the front door and turns on the lights. He’s spent the evening at a club dancing the night away, and his footsteps are uneven showing just how much alcohol he’s consumed. He sits down on the couch and turns on his phone for the first time since the morning. His phone beeps signaling he has unheard voicemail. He waits patiently as each message comes through.
“Hey Adam. I love you baby and I can’t wait to see you tonight.” Message left at 10am today. Next message.
Adam smiles as Kris’s voice drifts through the phone. Tonight? He must mean tomorrow night.
“Adam baby where are you? You should have been here by now.” Message left at 5pm today. Next Message
Huh? Adam’s mind is too muddled with alcohol to comprehend the concern in Kris’s voice.
“I’m going to make a wild guess and say that you forgot my birthday.” Message left at 7pm today. End messages.
Adam frowns at his phone before deleting the messages. ‘No Boundaries’ begins to play, and he hits the loudspeaker button instead of answer.
“Adam? Adam?”
“Hey baby! I’m so, so sorry. I thought I was supposed to be there tomorrow night.”
“You’ve been drinking.”
“A little.”
“Adam, I’ve had it. I love you more than anything and I honestly believed you were the one, but you don’t have time for a relationship or me. Hell, I haven’t even seen you in a month. I guess Drake was right the whole time Adam, you fuck up every relationship you get into. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to be happy with someone at the rate you’re going. I’ve got nothing left to tell you except good luck with everything Adam, and please don’t call me anymore. The fact that you forgot my birthday… I honestly can’t tell if you love me anymore.
Adam’s face is tear-stained as the line drops.
“You never had time for me Adam.”
“I was just afraid I would smother you like I did with Brad.”
“Adam, I was never Brad and I really needed your support. I had just realized I was gay and losing your first true love can leave a person open to making bad decisions.”
“Kris, you were it for me. It’s been a terribly long night, but seeing how my relationships ended has made me realize something. I let go of the best thing I ever had just because my life got busy. Now I’m alone, and you are the…”
Kris grasps my arm as a sad look crosses his features.
I’m once again in my own bed. It’s six in the morning, and I have to find him. He’s the man who stole my heart and he still has it. He’s the one.
And so it is said that Christmas miracles do sometimes happen. Sometimes even thickheaded rock stars can realize the truth when it is laid out before them. But the question remains: Is it too late?
In the hazy morning light I reach out, fingers blindly searching the bedside table for my cell. Nope. Where did I leave it this time? I get up and throw on a pair of jeans before making my way through the house in search of that damn phone. Of course it’s on the bar where I left it beside the empty Scotch glass. I’m kind of amazed I’m not seriously hung over right now.
I pick up my phone and scroll through the numbers until I find Kris’s parents. I know it’s still early, but they should already be up. I hit send and wait nervously for an answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mrs. Allen, it’s Adam. Merry Christmas.”
“Wow! We haven’t heard from you in ages. How are you? How’s your mother? Merry Christmas to you too Adam it’s so good to hear from you.”
I make a mental note to myself that Kris must’ve never told his parents about our relationship.
“I’m okay, my mom is good too, but I was actually calling about Kris. I haven’t talked to him in ages and I was really wanting to drop by and surprise him, but I wasn’t sure if he is still living in the same place.”
“Oh yes dear he’s still living there, but let me give you the gate code so you can sneak in.”
“Hold on a sec, let me grab something to write with.”
I look around and the closest thing I can find is a purple permanent marker. I shrug and remove the cap.
“2326 then hit pound and the gate will open for you. I know Kris will be happy to see you. He’s been so depressed the past few months. He said you’ve been so busy that you hadn’t even called him.”
“I’ve been letting my career get in the way of the people that are the most important to me. I definitely owe Kris an apology.”
“Trust me Adam he’ll be glad to see you.”
“Thanks Mrs. Allen. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.”
“You too Adam.”
With that, there is a soft click and then she’s gone. I quickly go to the bedroom and throw on a shirt and flip-flops before gathering my keys to head out the door. Minutes later I’m on the freeway, which for once is mostly quiet. That’s probably for the best right now considering how much lead is currently in my foot.
I’ve got some time to think since this won’t be a short drive. Kris had to find a place away from the city. He said that if he couldn’t live in Conway he still wanted to be far enough away from the city so that the stars would shine. He was adamant about it, said that it would make him feel closer to home knowing that he could see the same stars he did at home and he couldn’t do that in Los Angeles. I laughed at the time, but I guess that was something that made him feel at home.
Oh god, I was such a terrible boyfriend! I never made time for him, and when we were together those few precious moments were always spent in bed. It was like we were horny teenagers again. How the hell do you say I’m sorry for that?
“Yeah I’m sorry Kris that all we did when we spent time together was fuck like bunnies, and I’m even sorrier about never making time for us.”
I snort at the tone in my voice. Yeah that sounds like a great way to say I’m sorry. It’s almost as good as Hallmark.
Before it even registers, I’m sitting at the gate in front of Kris’s house. Although on second thought, cottage would probably be a better word for it. If not for the gate you might think it belonged to Old Mother Hubbard or some shit, but Kris insisted on something small saying that he didn’t need that much space. He just wanted room enough for his bed and his guitar.
I don’t even recall how the hell I got here, but I look down at my arm where I scrawled down the gate code. Staring at the keypad I punch in the four digits, trying to find a meaning behind his choice of a code number. I stare at the letters on each number of the keypad and my stomach drops as it dawns on me. 2326 is Adam. I shake my head to clear it before hitting the pound key.
My heart stutters in my ears as the gate slides open. For a moment I think this might have been a mistake, but before I let my nerves get the better of me I quickly drive through. I turn off the car and yank my keys from the ignition before quietly opening the car door and stepping onto the pavement. I look at my reflection in the driver’s side window, laughing softly to myself at the realization that in my hurry to get here I even forgot to brush my hair. I run my fingers through it trying to put it into some semblance of order and run my fingers under my eyes to remove some of the stray eyeliner that had smudged down my cheeks overnight. It’s just my luck that last night of all nights I decide to be too lazy to remove my makeup. Though suffice to say Kris has seen me looking much worse.
“Come on Adam, stop stalling.” I’m even admonishing myself now. I am the perfect picture of mental health.
I pad up the driveway; the only noises I hear are the sounds of the flip-flops on my feet and the blood pumping in my ears. As I step up onto the porch I notice the sound of the TV blaring from behind the front door. Strange. I reach out and ring the doorbell, shuffling from one foot to another anxiously as I listen for the sound of footsteps. Nope, I hear nothing. I reach out again this time knocking on the door. Minutes pass and still nothing. It’s then that Drake’s words come back to me.
“The fate of someone you love depends on it.”
Was Drake warning me? Is Kris okay? His mom said that he’d been depressed. A million horrible things cross my mind at once and before I realize it I’m turning the doorknob. Kris never locks the door, he says that is what the gate is for and for once I’m glad for his trusting nature, or I would have just kicked in his front door. I walk up the tiny hall and into the living room, my eyes taking in the simply furnished surroundings. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding at the sight of Kris lying asleep on his couch. He looks fragile and very small, but he’s safe. I walk over to the couch and upon closer inspection realize just how different Kris looks. He’s sleeping in Rudolph boxers, which leave a large expanse of skin exposed. The once warm tone to his skin is now gone, leaving flesh nearly as pale as mine. He’s a lot thinner then he was the last time I’d seen him, so much so that his ribs are showing. My eyes reach his face; the once child-like face that I loved is now drawn into a frown. The dark circles under his eyes show how little sleep he’s been getting lately.
“God Kris, what have you done to yourself?” I murmur to myself as I brush my fingers through his now shaggy hair.
This is definitely not the Kris that I remember, that Kris that exuded happiness and looked for a silver lining in everything. No, this is not the Kris I remember, but he’s still my Kris. But only if he still wants me after everything I’ve put him through. It’s too much to hope for, but I can’t help myself.
Kris’s eyes flutter open and he blinks several times as his eyes finally meet mine. It’s almost as if he doesn’t really believe what is in front of him.
“Hi… I umm… I rang the doorbell and knocked, but I didn’t get an answer… and I was worried that maybe something had happened to you. So I let myself in. Your mom gave me the gate code so that I could surprise you, but if you don’t want me here I’ll go.”
It all comes out in a rush and I silently freak out inside.
I watch Kris’s face carefully as a small smile reaches his lips. He reaches his arms out to grab my t-shirt and pulls me down onto the couch. Suddenly every emotion I’ve been missing over the last few months explodes inside of me as our lips meet. I finally feel something other than misery as his warm lips and tongue do wicked things to mine. I lose myself completely in everything that is Kris until he hesitantly pulls away, his eyes searching my face.
“I’m so sorry Kris for everything, I’m sorry for never making time for us, I’m sorry that I put so many things before you, and most of all I’m sorry that back then I didn’t realize just how much you meant to me. I just hope that you can forgive me.”
Kris’s body trembles as the sobs rack his body. I watch helplessly as the tears stream down his face. My confusion must be evident on my face because Kris holds up his index finger.
“Take all the time you need because I’m not going anywhere.”
The minutes pass and I take Kris into my arms and hold him firmly against my body. I rub slow circles into his back and murmur soft words of comfort into his ear until he finally begins to calm.
“Adam, I can’t believe you’re here.” He pulls back from my body to wipe at his eyes. “I can’t believe it. I prayed that you would see the truth. I can’t eat or sleep and every little thing I look at reminds me of you. I wanted to forget you, but I wanted you to come back to me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wished for you… I wished so hard. And now you’re here.”
I realize my cheeks are damp from my tears as I bring my lips to his once more. I run my fingers over Kris’s bare chest and he moans softly into my mouth. I break the kiss long enough to ask the question that is blazing in my mind.
“Kris, do you want this? Do you really want to be with me?”
“Of course I do Adam. The hardest thing I ever did was to try and cut you out of my life. I love you Adam, and I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you too Kris. It just took… a very long night to make me realize just how much. Now, do you want your Christmas present?”
“What? You didn’t have to get me anything?”
“I didn’t.” I smile and shrug out of my shirt.
“Oh. Oh! Okay I get it.”
“No you don’t.”
“Of course I do. You’re my present and you want me to be yours.”
“Yes, that too, but you aren’t quite getting it. Kris, I won’t be topping tonight.”
“Oh my God, are you serious, but you never…”
“I’m sure baby. I want to give myself to you for Christmas.”
Kris’s smile is enough to light up a room, but the sinful look that follows nearly burns my skin. He reaches out and unbuttons my jeans and I kick off my flip-flops. In moments my jeans are in a puddle at my feet and Kris’s hands are roaming over my now naked form.
“Sit Adam.”
My ass finds his couch without conscious thought and I watch the beautiful man before me as he runs his own fingers down his thin form. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his Rudolph boxers and slowly wiggles his way out of them, the little tease. Although it’s not like the flimsy material was concealing that much anyway. Even though he’s but a shadow of his former self I can’t take my eyes off of him.
“Still as beautiful as I remember.” The words fall from my lips.
Kris just smiles and kneels down in front of me. His tiny hands insistently push apart my legs so that he can fit in-between.
“You know Kris, this time around I don’t want it to be about sex all the time.”
Kris’s exasperated sigh is almost amusing. He looks into my eyes before he speaks.
“Yeah okay Adam, you’re the one that said that you were my Christmas present and here I am enjoying it and you have to go and get all serious on me while I’m trying to get between your legs.”
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me.
“Kris I just mean that I want to… maybe take you out to dinner tonight and show you off. Plus you look like you could use an all-you-can-eat-buffet. We need to put some meat back on those pretty little bones or else I’ll have nothing to chew on.” I give Kris my best pouty face.
“Okay… dinner… great… sounds lovely… always trying to fatten me up… but now I want a nice protein filled breakfast.”
Kris’s head moves closer to my straining length then soon engulfs it as if it were the most delicious thing that he’s ever tasted. I’m really not complaining though because his tongue is swirling and oh then he’s swallowing and his throat is enclosing my cock in its tight wet heat. My hips buck up into his mouth of their own accord, and I’m on the verge of losing it. I push at Kris’s shoulders trying to warn him, but he grips my hips tighter, humming his approval around my cock. And then I’m cumming so hard that the world goes black for a moment as Kris swallows every drop that my body offers. When the world finally comes back into focus Kris is still between my knees lapping happily at my cock making sure that he got every last drop. Even after all of that my dick is actually starting to awaken again. I guess it really has been too long since I’ve gotten off if I’m already revving up for Round Two.
“Mmm good breakfast.” Kris sighs happily.
“So where do you want to fuck me Kris?”
His eyes bug-out slightly at my question.
“Umm the bedroom is a big no-no right now, but the couch folds out.”
“Okay then go get some lube and a condom and I will take care of the couch.”
I stand up and it’s then I realize that Kris is staring at my arm. I look down to see what is holding his gaze.
“What? I didn’t have any paper handy. Your mom should have just told me the gate code was Adam.”
“You noticed that?”
“Of course I did. It gave me hope. Made me think I stood a chance, that after everything you might still accept me.”
“She doesn’t know about the code, or us Adam. I didn’t want her to worry about me or think badly about you, because I knew you would find your way back to me. You know that old saying, ‘If you love someone let them go and if they come back they’re yours and if not it wasn’t meant to be.’ I knew we were meant to be Adam.”
With that he turns to walk away. I’m glad Kris had faith in me even when I didn’t. I stand up and pull out the bed and arrange the pillows. It’s then that the full extent of the situation dawns on me. I am about to bottom for the first time. I mean it’s not like I’ve never had fingers or the occasional toy up my ass during foreplay, but that’s where I drew the line. Bottoming was an experience I wanted to save for the man that I was going to spend my life with. I’m with him now and I honestly couldn’t be any happier.
“You’re sure about this?”
“Of course Kris, I want this.”
“Alright then get comfortable or as comfortable as you can on this bed anyway Mr. Long-Legs.”
I crawl up the short distance to the pillows presenting myself to Kris before flipping onto my back. I draw my knees toward my body and plant my feet on the mattress careful to leave enough room for Kris to fit in-between.
“Alright I’m comfy.”
Kris scoots up the bed and settles himself between my legs. I watch as he picks up the bottle of lube and pours it onto his fingers. His eyes are focused intently on mine as he reaches out to press a gentle finger at my entrance. His finger makes tiny circles as he slowly increases the pressure such that I can feel my body opening to his sweet invading finger.”
“Kris… mmm… it’s okay you aren’t going to break me.”
“I’m just nervous.”
“I am too Kris I mean this is a first for me, but I trust you completely.”
“Alright Adam.” Kris pauses for a moment eyes taking in the sight of Adam.
I guess that was what he needed to hear. He gains confidence as he adds a second finger and then he’s probing my insides for that spot. I feel his fingers finally nudge against my prostate.
“Yeah, Kris… baby right there.”
I hear the sounds coming out of my mouth, but not much of it is coherent anymore. It’s just Kris’s fingers scissoring and opening me up for his cock. My own cock twitches at the thought of being filled up by Kris.
“You’re nice and open for me baby so put this condom on my dick so that I can sink into your tight ass.” Kris says trying to keep a straight face.
“Why Mr. Allen, you’ve developed quite the potty-mouth since I’ve been gone and I think I like it!”
He nudges my spot again before removing his fingers.
“What are you waiting on Adam? Christmas? Well, that’s today so you better get a move on, you don’t want to be late.” Kris’s voice bubbles from his mouth as he grins at me.
Kris offers the condom to me and I take the package swiftly between my teeth and rip it open. I remove the condom and deftly run it down Kris’s shaft in one swift motion.
“Now that is a talent Adam.”
I look at Kris a moment confused by his comment.
“You’re an expert at putting on a condom.”
“Heh, I guess I’ve just had a lot of practice over the years.”
“You ready?”
“Yes Kris, more than ready.”
“Okay then relax.”
I nod and watch as Kris covers his cock in lube. With his hand still glistening he reaches out to firmly stroke my cock a couple of times. He positions himself at my entrance and hooks one arm under each of my knees and pulls them up to his shoulders though with his height it’s not that far to go.
“Now take a deep breath.”
I inhale slowly as he pushes in the head and my body slowly opens to accept him. I let the breath out softly. It burns, as he’s much bigger than anything else I’ve had inside of me, but it lets me know I’m alive.
“I love you Adam. Thank you so much for my present.”
“Mmm I love you too. Come here.”
He leans forward bringing my knees to my chest effectively pinning my straining erection between our bodies. I arch up to meet his lips in a fiery kiss as he sinks inside me until his torso and my ass meet. I savor the mixture of pleasure and pain as Kris tentatively backs out of me and sinks sharply back in.
“So good Kris.” I murmur between kisses as his hips find a rhythm that has us both delirious with pleasure.
So many kisses, and so many words of passion leave my mouth. The moans, coos, and the sound of skin slapping skin fill my head as heat spreads throughout my body. Over and over again Kris pounds into me as the world falls away until it’s just… us. I can feel myself slowly slipping into oblivion as Kris finally hits that spot inside of me. I arch my back up into Kris trying to get the friction that I need for the flame he’s ignited inside of me to consume me completely. Kris however knows exactly what I need and slips his hand between our bodies to wrap around my aching length. His hand moves up and down slowly causing the burn to ebb and flow throughout my body before his hand finds the same pace as his hips. As his hand grazes the head at the same time as his dick slams into my spot, I feel the tears prick the backs of my eyes as fire and the sweet relief that follows consume me.
“Kris… Kris… Kris…” I sob as I finally come completely undone.
My cock throbs as each rope of cum shoots from my body and splatters my torso.
“Adam, oh fuck!”
I look up in time to see Kris’s hips jerk one final time before his eyes roll back into his head and his keening whine fills the room. His eyes finally meet mine.
“Mmm, damn that was amazing baby.”
Kris just nods at me still too incoherent to speak. He slowly withdraws from my body and lowers my legs back to the bed. No doubt I will be sore tomorrow, but it will be a nice reminder that I’m his.
Kris stands up on wobbly legs and removes the condom. I watch as he ties it and pads to the bathroom. Moments later his flushed little self appears with a washcloth in hand. He wipes down my stomach, cock, and ass before throwing the washcloth beside the bed. He plops down beside me and snuggles into my body and I watch as his eyes close.
“Merry Christmas Adam. I love you.”
“I love you too Kris. Merry Christmas and don’t forget we’re going to dinner later.”
Kris just grumbles as he nuzzles further into my side. He’s asleep in minutes.
The clock shows nine in the morning and yet this is already the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I finally let my eyes drift shut and am nearly asleep.
“Bah Humbug.”
My eyes snap open. I smile to myself as I see Scrooge’s bitter frown splayed on Kris’s TV. This year someone else can be Scrooge because this year it’s not going to be me.
And so it is told that after that fateful night, a once bitter rock star found the one he was meant to spend his life with, even though that someone had been right there in front of his nose all along. From then on he never took those around him for granted and though Kris and Adam didn’t live happily ever after they did live happily because happily ever after was just for fairytales and real life true love was better than any fairytale.
Author: pyrosgf
Pairing: Kradam, Bradam, Dradam
Wordcount: Roughly 7000 (oneshot)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexytimes, some paranormal shit, and boys with potty mouths. Loosely based on A Christmas Carol.
Disclaimer: Nope I don’t own them. Don’t claim it ever happened and all that jazz.
Notes Written for the
aiholidaybash for kradambomb. Prompt: Crack!Fic-ish/A Christmas Carol-ish but doesn't have to be true to the story - Adam Lambert is a bitter and jaded rock star. There was a time when he loved to perform to the masses but over the years he has grown to hate his legions of adoring (and demanding) fans who, in turn, end up adoring him even more. He is never alone but he's always lonely. Then one drunken night, he is visited by the Ghosts of His Lovers Past (or past lovers) aka the Three Spirits or the Three Men He Loved The Most - Brad, Drake and Kris. Must include three flashback scenes of how his relationship with each guy soured. Then Adam realizes one of them is "THE ONE". You can choose who he picks but since I am a Kradam fan, I would love it if he picks Kris. Kthx! =) Happy ending is optional, i.e. they could live happily ever after or, even after Adam chooses, the guy doesn't necessarily have to want him back.
PS: Thanks you so much for this prompt. I think I’ve had more fun writing this than anything else I’ve ever taken the time to write. I also want to say I’m sorry that this ended up being so long, but I do hope it makes you as happy as it has made me. Merry Christmas!
Beta: My darling
alyssand who put up with the three fics I plopped on her for the aiholidaybash. I really have to thank you because you control my cheese factor and really made this fic even better. This is the story of a rock star that has everything he could ever want. This man has success, money, and both men and women who would give anything just to be near him. His fans hang on to his every word even if those words lately have been ‘leave me alone.’ Still the fans and paparazzi follow him everywhere. He’s never alone, but his dulling eyes speak volumes of his loneliness. He’s bitter that he’s got no one to love, but all too often forgets why. That is, until the day that the Fates decided they’d had enough of his moping ways, that this man needed a reminder of just what lead him to being alone.
It’s Christmas Eve and I walk off the stage in hopes that I can just go home, but it’s never that easy. Even being in LA, it will still be a fight to get home before midnight. I glance at my watch noting that it’s only ten. With it being a holiday I hold onto the hope that the fans will just go home tonight to spend time with their families instead of waiting around for me to sign autographs.
I quickly gather the few things that I have backstage and head toward the nearest exit, not bothering to change out of my stage-wear.
I can hear them chattering before I even make it to the door. Permanent marker in hand, I brace myself for the screaming before pushing open the door. The wall of noise that follows leaves me wishing that I had remembered my earplugs. I quickly adjust the smile on my face before putting my index finger to my lips in hopes of calming them.
“Guys, come on now, quite please.”
The roar calms as I walk toward the barricade.
“Sorry guys, but I can only sign tonight, I don’t have time for pictures. It’s Christmas Eve and I have family to get home to.”
I work the line signing everything shoved at me until finally I’m at the end and the crowd starts to dissolve. A tiny girl wearing a green sparkly dress watches me intently as I start to walk to my car.
“Mr. Lambert,” Comes her tiny voice. “Why do you look so sad?”
“I’m fine sweetie.” The rest of the crowd has gone now. “I’m just a little tired. Where’s your mommy?”
“I know the truth Mr. Lambert. You really don’t have anyone to go home to tonight. You hurt every man you’ve ever loved and tonight the Ghosts of your Lover’s Past will visit you. They will show you exactly why you’re still going home to an empty house. Sweet dreams Adam.”
I blink as her words sink in and when I open my eyes she’s gone. I shake my head wearily. God, now I’m imagining things. Get a grip!
And so the seed had been planted for good ole Adam to take a journey down memory lane.
After much too much Scotch I finally feel the tension leaving my body. I don’t even feel my head hitting the pillow.
“Adam?”
I jump awake at the sound of my name. That voice is so familiar. I open my eyes to see Brad peering into my face.
“Bitch, get up! I’m the first of your visitors tonight and I’ve got a lot to show you so get a move on.”
“Really funny Brad, how the hell did you get in here?”
“I’m not Brad really. I’m just your first tour guide. You’re going to be exploring past relationships and why you failed at love.”
“Excuse me for not buying this, but…”
Brad reaches out to grab my arm.
“Fine we’ll do this the hard way.” He huffs.
The next thing I know we are sitting on the couch in my old apartment.
“Believe me now?”
I nod.
“Okay then watch carefully.”
The door opens and Brad walks in soon followed by Adam. The tension in the room is so thick it is hard to breathe.
“Adam you are not my mother and neither am I yours.”
“I know that.”
“Then why do you insist on being up my ass about everything all the time? You’re smothering me! I really do not need you to baby-sit me when I go to the store to pick up condoms. I’m a big boy, I can do it all by myself.”
“I thought you liked me up your ass.”
“Damn it Adam, focus. I’m serious! You’ve got to give me some space!”
The apartment fades and then we are sitting in Upright Cabaret.
“So, do you remember that conversation?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then watch.”
Adam and Brad are sitting at a table near the back.
“Adam I’m gonna go to the bar and get a drink. Do you want anything?”
“No that’s okay baby I’ll just come with you.”
Brad rolls his eyes.
“What? I just want to show off my sexy boyfriend.”
“Sure you do Adam.”
“So are you seeing a pattern in our relationship yet?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay then maybe this will refresh your memory.”
I blink and we are once again at my old apartment.
The door flies open and Brad storms in.
“Adam where are you?”
“In the bedroom. I’m coming baby.”
“Get out here now!”
Adam walks into the living room looking flustered.
“How fucking dare you! I told you I was going to the club tonight with Cass since you were working. I get a strange call from Cass a little while ago telling me he was sorry I wasn’t going to be able to make it, and that he hoped I got to feeling better. Only when he realized I had no clue what he was on about did he tell me you’d called to let him know I was sick and couldn’t make it. All because you’re working tonight and don’t want me out enjoying myself without you.”
“That’s not it!”
“Bullshit! I’ve had e-fucking-nough of your smothering bullshit! I’m done! I’m not doing this with you anymore, Adam. Goodbye.”
Brad storms out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
“Now do you see it? You pushed me right out of your life” A sadness passes over Brad’s features. “Just know I really did love you Adam.”
The next thing I know I’m back in the warmth of my bed. I glance over to the clock. It’s two in the morning. I close my eyes again, unable to keep from pondering the mistakes that I made with Brad. He was the first person I gave my heart to, and the day he left, he handed it back to me in pieces. The loneliness tightens my chest as I drift off to sleep.
“Adam?”
I hear my name again and it pulls me from the sleep I so desperately need. This voice, however, is more hesitant than the last. I open my eyes to see Drake standing at the foot of my bed, his eyes looking so very haunted.
Drake and I started seeing each other while I was on American Idol, and to say that things ended badly between us would be putting it lightly.
“Come with me Adam. It’s time you face the mistakes that you made instead of hiding from them.”
And with that, he grabs me by the arm. A moment later, we are sitting in Déjà vu, a restaurant I took Drake to one of the nights off during the Idol tour. I remember this place though I can’t for the life of me remember where it’s located.
“Pay attention Adam, you have a realization that you need to come to tonight. The fate of someone you love depends on it.”
Adam and Drake are sitting face to face, their hands entwined, the only thing between them is the cozy little table. It’s been such a long time since they’ve been able to just spend some time together with all the craziness of the tour.
“So what movie are we going to see?”
“Oh Adam, like it matters. You know we won’t be watching it anyway.”
“Good point.”
Drake’s smile is genuine because for the first time in ages he has Adam to himself and there’s nothing standing in the way of them having the perfect night. After the movie Adam and Drake will go back to Adam’s hotel and spend the night wrapped up in each other.
“Dinner is served Gentlemen. I hope you enjoy the food. If there is anything you need please don’t hesitate to ask.” The waiter places their plates in front of them and quickly makes himself scarce.
Before Adam manages to sink his fork into his dinner his cell phone rings. He frowns for a moment and looks at the display screen.
“I’m sorry honey I thought I had turned it off, but it’s Kris and he wouldn’t call unless it was important.”
Drake’s face falls as he watches Adam answer the phone.
“Hey Kris what’s up… no… really… can it wait?… no… shit okay give me thirty minutes and I’ll be there.”
Adam hangs up his phone and looks at Drake apologetically.
“I’m sorry honey. Kris needs someone to do some backup vocals on a track for his album and the singer backed out. He has to get this track finished tonight and needs someone for backup. I have to go help him out. He’d do the same thing for me.”
“Of course he would.”
“Don’t be like that Drake. You can take the car. I’ll catch a cab over to the studio.”
“Yeah, alright.”
Adam gets up and rushes toward the waiter and hands him his credit card. Drake watches as the waiter runs Adam’s credit card before handing Adam the slip to sign and hands him his receipt. Adam turns toward Drake and blows him a kiss before heading for the exit.
“That was the beginning of the end Adam.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Just pay attention, okay?”
Drake again wraps his fingers around my wrist and in moments we are sitting inside a hotel room in some nameless hotel.
Adam and Kris sit on the bed facing each other. Kris’s face is streaked with tears.
“Kris you have to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you unless you tell me. You know I’m only here for tonight’s show so you need to speak before I have to leave for the arena. Come on Kris you know you can talk to me.” Adam pleaded.
“Adam… God Adam… I’m a failure.”
“What are you talking about? Your album is amazing and it’s selling like crazy!”
“It’s not… it’s not about my career Adam. I’m a complete mess! I can’t keep up this lie anymore. Katy and I are getting a divorce. It feels like I haven’t had a decent conversation with her since you and I became roommates at the start of Idol”
“Oh Kris. I’m so sorry, but how is that living a lie?”
Adam pulls Kris into his arms.
“I never loved Katy, and marrying her was just something I was supposed to do. But while I was on Idol I fell in love with someone. I can’t go another day pretending that I’m someone I’m not.”
“Who are you pretending to be?”
“It’s not who I’m pretending to be Adam, it’s what I am. I’m tired of pretending that I’m this straight unassuming guy completely in love with his wife, when in all actuality I’ve been dying to kiss you since the first day I met you. Then we became roommates and each day I found myself falling more in love with you.”
Kris leans forward and captures Adam’s lips and as they lose themselves in the kiss, they fail to notice the door opening.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Adam freezes mid-kiss before his head snaps up to look at Drake.
“I… uhh… what are you doing here?”
“I thought I would drop in and surprise you, but it looks like Kris already beat me to it.”
“It’s not what it looks like, Drake. It’s not Adam’s fault. I came onto him and I’m really sorry.”
Kris quickly rises to his feet and makes his exit.
“Is that the truth Adam?”
“Yeah… that’s exactly what happened.”
“You remember that night don’t you?”
“I do.”
“But that wasn’t the end of it, was it?”
Another flash, and we were back at my home in LA. The same one I’m living in now.
Adam and Kris are in Adam’s bed. Moans, groans, pants, and the sound of skin hitting skin echo against the walls.
“Harder Adam… faster… please.”
“I’ve got you Kris, I’ve got you. Come on baby. Cum for me.”
Kris shoots all over his chest and Adam’s hands. Adam soon joins Kris in climax. Minutes pass before Adam finally moves to fall beside Kris.
“I love you Adam. I love you so much. I never want to be without you.”
“I love you too Kris. I want you so much. ”
The door creaks open to reveal a furious-looking Drake who has had a view of their entire little show.
“I knew it. This whole time! You know what Adam? I’m sorry I’m never going to be good enough for you. Stay where you are Kris, I’m just going to go. I hope you two are happy now because this thing you have isn’t going to last. Adam can’t have a relationship without fucking it up somehow, isn’t that right sweetie? Goodbye Adam.”
Drake storms from the room leaving the bedroom door wide-open.
“I’m sorry Drake. I never got to apologize to you for that.”
“It’s all in the past honey. Now you just have to wake up and see the truth.”
Once again I find myself back in my bed. So many emotions are racking my system. God, it’s four in the morning and I don’t feel like I’ve slept at all. I can’t seem to shake this huge feeling of dread because I know that as soon as I get back to sleep it will be time for the main event. My eyelids are so heavy though.
“Adam?”
Even with my eyes shut his voice haunts me, and when I open them I know exactly whom I will find. He’s the man that still haunts my dreams.
“Kris.” I whisper.
Before I even manage to open my eyes his hand is wrapped around my wrist and we are in some backstage area.
“Adam please take all of this in, it’s extremely important.”
Adam is sitting on a burgundy couch with his legs crossed, silently huffing as his cell rings.
“Hello.”
“Hey Kris.”
“No Kris I don’t have time to talk right now.”
“Yes we will talk when I get home. I promise I will be there.”
“I really have to go.”
Adam hits the end button on the phone before getting up to take the stage.
“I know you’re only hearing your end of the conversation, but I know you remember what I was trying to tell you.”
“Something about meeting up for coffee and that you had some news.”
“Yep.”
The room around us gets misty and then we were sitting in a coffee shop.
Kris is sitting in the corner booth alone with his cell phone against his ear.
“Hey Adam, you said you would meet me here today so we could talk. I’m tired of always talking to your voicemail, but this can’t wait. I thought you might want to know I’ve been nominated for a Grammy for our song. Anyway, I love you. Call me when you get this.”
“Then you missed the Grammy’s because you had to fly to New York for a talk show.” Kris’s voice is bitter even to my ears.
“Kris I’m sorry, but you know I had to.”
“Save it.”
There is a bright flash and then I’m sitting in my house again. The clock says it’s just after eleven and the house is dark.
Adam walks in the front door and turns on the lights. He’s spent the evening at a club dancing the night away, and his footsteps are uneven showing just how much alcohol he’s consumed. He sits down on the couch and turns on his phone for the first time since the morning. His phone beeps signaling he has unheard voicemail. He waits patiently as each message comes through.
“Hey Adam. I love you baby and I can’t wait to see you tonight.” Message left at 10am today. Next message.
Adam smiles as Kris’s voice drifts through the phone. Tonight? He must mean tomorrow night.
“Adam baby where are you? You should have been here by now.” Message left at 5pm today. Next Message
Huh? Adam’s mind is too muddled with alcohol to comprehend the concern in Kris’s voice.
“I’m going to make a wild guess and say that you forgot my birthday.” Message left at 7pm today. End messages.
Adam frowns at his phone before deleting the messages. ‘No Boundaries’ begins to play, and he hits the loudspeaker button instead of answer.
“Adam? Adam?”
“Hey baby! I’m so, so sorry. I thought I was supposed to be there tomorrow night.”
“You’ve been drinking.”
“A little.”
“Adam, I’ve had it. I love you more than anything and I honestly believed you were the one, but you don’t have time for a relationship or me. Hell, I haven’t even seen you in a month. I guess Drake was right the whole time Adam, you fuck up every relationship you get into. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to be happy with someone at the rate you’re going. I’ve got nothing left to tell you except good luck with everything Adam, and please don’t call me anymore. The fact that you forgot my birthday… I honestly can’t tell if you love me anymore.
Adam’s face is tear-stained as the line drops.
“You never had time for me Adam.”
“I was just afraid I would smother you like I did with Brad.”
“Adam, I was never Brad and I really needed your support. I had just realized I was gay and losing your first true love can leave a person open to making bad decisions.”
“Kris, you were it for me. It’s been a terribly long night, but seeing how my relationships ended has made me realize something. I let go of the best thing I ever had just because my life got busy. Now I’m alone, and you are the…”
Kris grasps my arm as a sad look crosses his features.
I’m once again in my own bed. It’s six in the morning, and I have to find him. He’s the man who stole my heart and he still has it. He’s the one.
And so it is said that Christmas miracles do sometimes happen. Sometimes even thickheaded rock stars can realize the truth when it is laid out before them. But the question remains: Is it too late?
In the hazy morning light I reach out, fingers blindly searching the bedside table for my cell. Nope. Where did I leave it this time? I get up and throw on a pair of jeans before making my way through the house in search of that damn phone. Of course it’s on the bar where I left it beside the empty Scotch glass. I’m kind of amazed I’m not seriously hung over right now.
I pick up my phone and scroll through the numbers until I find Kris’s parents. I know it’s still early, but they should already be up. I hit send and wait nervously for an answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mrs. Allen, it’s Adam. Merry Christmas.”
“Wow! We haven’t heard from you in ages. How are you? How’s your mother? Merry Christmas to you too Adam it’s so good to hear from you.”
I make a mental note to myself that Kris must’ve never told his parents about our relationship.
“I’m okay, my mom is good too, but I was actually calling about Kris. I haven’t talked to him in ages and I was really wanting to drop by and surprise him, but I wasn’t sure if he is still living in the same place.”
“Oh yes dear he’s still living there, but let me give you the gate code so you can sneak in.”
“Hold on a sec, let me grab something to write with.”
I look around and the closest thing I can find is a purple permanent marker. I shrug and remove the cap.
“2326 then hit pound and the gate will open for you. I know Kris will be happy to see you. He’s been so depressed the past few months. He said you’ve been so busy that you hadn’t even called him.”
“I’ve been letting my career get in the way of the people that are the most important to me. I definitely owe Kris an apology.”
“Trust me Adam he’ll be glad to see you.”
“Thanks Mrs. Allen. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.”
“You too Adam.”
With that, there is a soft click and then she’s gone. I quickly go to the bedroom and throw on a shirt and flip-flops before gathering my keys to head out the door. Minutes later I’m on the freeway, which for once is mostly quiet. That’s probably for the best right now considering how much lead is currently in my foot.
I’ve got some time to think since this won’t be a short drive. Kris had to find a place away from the city. He said that if he couldn’t live in Conway he still wanted to be far enough away from the city so that the stars would shine. He was adamant about it, said that it would make him feel closer to home knowing that he could see the same stars he did at home and he couldn’t do that in Los Angeles. I laughed at the time, but I guess that was something that made him feel at home.
Oh god, I was such a terrible boyfriend! I never made time for him, and when we were together those few precious moments were always spent in bed. It was like we were horny teenagers again. How the hell do you say I’m sorry for that?
“Yeah I’m sorry Kris that all we did when we spent time together was fuck like bunnies, and I’m even sorrier about never making time for us.”
I snort at the tone in my voice. Yeah that sounds like a great way to say I’m sorry. It’s almost as good as Hallmark.
Before it even registers, I’m sitting at the gate in front of Kris’s house. Although on second thought, cottage would probably be a better word for it. If not for the gate you might think it belonged to Old Mother Hubbard or some shit, but Kris insisted on something small saying that he didn’t need that much space. He just wanted room enough for his bed and his guitar.
I don’t even recall how the hell I got here, but I look down at my arm where I scrawled down the gate code. Staring at the keypad I punch in the four digits, trying to find a meaning behind his choice of a code number. I stare at the letters on each number of the keypad and my stomach drops as it dawns on me. 2326 is Adam. I shake my head to clear it before hitting the pound key.
My heart stutters in my ears as the gate slides open. For a moment I think this might have been a mistake, but before I let my nerves get the better of me I quickly drive through. I turn off the car and yank my keys from the ignition before quietly opening the car door and stepping onto the pavement. I look at my reflection in the driver’s side window, laughing softly to myself at the realization that in my hurry to get here I even forgot to brush my hair. I run my fingers through it trying to put it into some semblance of order and run my fingers under my eyes to remove some of the stray eyeliner that had smudged down my cheeks overnight. It’s just my luck that last night of all nights I decide to be too lazy to remove my makeup. Though suffice to say Kris has seen me looking much worse.
“Come on Adam, stop stalling.” I’m even admonishing myself now. I am the perfect picture of mental health.
I pad up the driveway; the only noises I hear are the sounds of the flip-flops on my feet and the blood pumping in my ears. As I step up onto the porch I notice the sound of the TV blaring from behind the front door. Strange. I reach out and ring the doorbell, shuffling from one foot to another anxiously as I listen for the sound of footsteps. Nope, I hear nothing. I reach out again this time knocking on the door. Minutes pass and still nothing. It’s then that Drake’s words come back to me.
“The fate of someone you love depends on it.”
Was Drake warning me? Is Kris okay? His mom said that he’d been depressed. A million horrible things cross my mind at once and before I realize it I’m turning the doorknob. Kris never locks the door, he says that is what the gate is for and for once I’m glad for his trusting nature, or I would have just kicked in his front door. I walk up the tiny hall and into the living room, my eyes taking in the simply furnished surroundings. I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding at the sight of Kris lying asleep on his couch. He looks fragile and very small, but he’s safe. I walk over to the couch and upon closer inspection realize just how different Kris looks. He’s sleeping in Rudolph boxers, which leave a large expanse of skin exposed. The once warm tone to his skin is now gone, leaving flesh nearly as pale as mine. He’s a lot thinner then he was the last time I’d seen him, so much so that his ribs are showing. My eyes reach his face; the once child-like face that I loved is now drawn into a frown. The dark circles under his eyes show how little sleep he’s been getting lately.
“God Kris, what have you done to yourself?” I murmur to myself as I brush my fingers through his now shaggy hair.
This is definitely not the Kris that I remember, that Kris that exuded happiness and looked for a silver lining in everything. No, this is not the Kris I remember, but he’s still my Kris. But only if he still wants me after everything I’ve put him through. It’s too much to hope for, but I can’t help myself.
Kris’s eyes flutter open and he blinks several times as his eyes finally meet mine. It’s almost as if he doesn’t really believe what is in front of him.
“Hi… I umm… I rang the doorbell and knocked, but I didn’t get an answer… and I was worried that maybe something had happened to you. So I let myself in. Your mom gave me the gate code so that I could surprise you, but if you don’t want me here I’ll go.”
It all comes out in a rush and I silently freak out inside.
I watch Kris’s face carefully as a small smile reaches his lips. He reaches his arms out to grab my t-shirt and pulls me down onto the couch. Suddenly every emotion I’ve been missing over the last few months explodes inside of me as our lips meet. I finally feel something other than misery as his warm lips and tongue do wicked things to mine. I lose myself completely in everything that is Kris until he hesitantly pulls away, his eyes searching my face.
“I’m so sorry Kris for everything, I’m sorry for never making time for us, I’m sorry that I put so many things before you, and most of all I’m sorry that back then I didn’t realize just how much you meant to me. I just hope that you can forgive me.”
Kris’s body trembles as the sobs rack his body. I watch helplessly as the tears stream down his face. My confusion must be evident on my face because Kris holds up his index finger.
“Take all the time you need because I’m not going anywhere.”
The minutes pass and I take Kris into my arms and hold him firmly against my body. I rub slow circles into his back and murmur soft words of comfort into his ear until he finally begins to calm.
“Adam, I can’t believe you’re here.” He pulls back from my body to wipe at his eyes. “I can’t believe it. I prayed that you would see the truth. I can’t eat or sleep and every little thing I look at reminds me of you. I wanted to forget you, but I wanted you to come back to me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wished for you… I wished so hard. And now you’re here.”
I realize my cheeks are damp from my tears as I bring my lips to his once more. I run my fingers over Kris’s bare chest and he moans softly into my mouth. I break the kiss long enough to ask the question that is blazing in my mind.
“Kris, do you want this? Do you really want to be with me?”
“Of course I do Adam. The hardest thing I ever did was to try and cut you out of my life. I love you Adam, and I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you too Kris. It just took… a very long night to make me realize just how much. Now, do you want your Christmas present?”
“What? You didn’t have to get me anything?”
“I didn’t.” I smile and shrug out of my shirt.
“Oh. Oh! Okay I get it.”
“No you don’t.”
“Of course I do. You’re my present and you want me to be yours.”
“Yes, that too, but you aren’t quite getting it. Kris, I won’t be topping tonight.”
“Oh my God, are you serious, but you never…”
“I’m sure baby. I want to give myself to you for Christmas.”
Kris’s smile is enough to light up a room, but the sinful look that follows nearly burns my skin. He reaches out and unbuttons my jeans and I kick off my flip-flops. In moments my jeans are in a puddle at my feet and Kris’s hands are roaming over my now naked form.
“Sit Adam.”
My ass finds his couch without conscious thought and I watch the beautiful man before me as he runs his own fingers down his thin form. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his Rudolph boxers and slowly wiggles his way out of them, the little tease. Although it’s not like the flimsy material was concealing that much anyway. Even though he’s but a shadow of his former self I can’t take my eyes off of him.
“Still as beautiful as I remember.” The words fall from my lips.
Kris just smiles and kneels down in front of me. His tiny hands insistently push apart my legs so that he can fit in-between.
“You know Kris, this time around I don’t want it to be about sex all the time.”
Kris’s exasperated sigh is almost amusing. He looks into my eyes before he speaks.
“Yeah okay Adam, you’re the one that said that you were my Christmas present and here I am enjoying it and you have to go and get all serious on me while I’m trying to get between your legs.”
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me.
“Kris I just mean that I want to… maybe take you out to dinner tonight and show you off. Plus you look like you could use an all-you-can-eat-buffet. We need to put some meat back on those pretty little bones or else I’ll have nothing to chew on.” I give Kris my best pouty face.
“Okay… dinner… great… sounds lovely… always trying to fatten me up… but now I want a nice protein filled breakfast.”
Kris’s head moves closer to my straining length then soon engulfs it as if it were the most delicious thing that he’s ever tasted. I’m really not complaining though because his tongue is swirling and oh then he’s swallowing and his throat is enclosing my cock in its tight wet heat. My hips buck up into his mouth of their own accord, and I’m on the verge of losing it. I push at Kris’s shoulders trying to warn him, but he grips my hips tighter, humming his approval around my cock. And then I’m cumming so hard that the world goes black for a moment as Kris swallows every drop that my body offers. When the world finally comes back into focus Kris is still between my knees lapping happily at my cock making sure that he got every last drop. Even after all of that my dick is actually starting to awaken again. I guess it really has been too long since I’ve gotten off if I’m already revving up for Round Two.
“Mmm good breakfast.” Kris sighs happily.
“So where do you want to fuck me Kris?”
His eyes bug-out slightly at my question.
“Umm the bedroom is a big no-no right now, but the couch folds out.”
“Okay then go get some lube and a condom and I will take care of the couch.”
I stand up and it’s then I realize that Kris is staring at my arm. I look down to see what is holding his gaze.
“What? I didn’t have any paper handy. Your mom should have just told me the gate code was Adam.”
“You noticed that?”
“Of course I did. It gave me hope. Made me think I stood a chance, that after everything you might still accept me.”
“She doesn’t know about the code, or us Adam. I didn’t want her to worry about me or think badly about you, because I knew you would find your way back to me. You know that old saying, ‘If you love someone let them go and if they come back they’re yours and if not it wasn’t meant to be.’ I knew we were meant to be Adam.”
With that he turns to walk away. I’m glad Kris had faith in me even when I didn’t. I stand up and pull out the bed and arrange the pillows. It’s then that the full extent of the situation dawns on me. I am about to bottom for the first time. I mean it’s not like I’ve never had fingers or the occasional toy up my ass during foreplay, but that’s where I drew the line. Bottoming was an experience I wanted to save for the man that I was going to spend my life with. I’m with him now and I honestly couldn’t be any happier.
“You’re sure about this?”
“Of course Kris, I want this.”
“Alright then get comfortable or as comfortable as you can on this bed anyway Mr. Long-Legs.”
I crawl up the short distance to the pillows presenting myself to Kris before flipping onto my back. I draw my knees toward my body and plant my feet on the mattress careful to leave enough room for Kris to fit in-between.
“Alright I’m comfy.”
Kris scoots up the bed and settles himself between my legs. I watch as he picks up the bottle of lube and pours it onto his fingers. His eyes are focused intently on mine as he reaches out to press a gentle finger at my entrance. His finger makes tiny circles as he slowly increases the pressure such that I can feel my body opening to his sweet invading finger.”
“Kris… mmm… it’s okay you aren’t going to break me.”
“I’m just nervous.”
“I am too Kris I mean this is a first for me, but I trust you completely.”
“Alright Adam.” Kris pauses for a moment eyes taking in the sight of Adam.
I guess that was what he needed to hear. He gains confidence as he adds a second finger and then he’s probing my insides for that spot. I feel his fingers finally nudge against my prostate.
“Yeah, Kris… baby right there.”
I hear the sounds coming out of my mouth, but not much of it is coherent anymore. It’s just Kris’s fingers scissoring and opening me up for his cock. My own cock twitches at the thought of being filled up by Kris.
“You’re nice and open for me baby so put this condom on my dick so that I can sink into your tight ass.” Kris says trying to keep a straight face.
“Why Mr. Allen, you’ve developed quite the potty-mouth since I’ve been gone and I think I like it!”
He nudges my spot again before removing his fingers.
“What are you waiting on Adam? Christmas? Well, that’s today so you better get a move on, you don’t want to be late.” Kris’s voice bubbles from his mouth as he grins at me.
Kris offers the condom to me and I take the package swiftly between my teeth and rip it open. I remove the condom and deftly run it down Kris’s shaft in one swift motion.
“Now that is a talent Adam.”
I look at Kris a moment confused by his comment.
“You’re an expert at putting on a condom.”
“Heh, I guess I’ve just had a lot of practice over the years.”
“You ready?”
“Yes Kris, more than ready.”
“Okay then relax.”
I nod and watch as Kris covers his cock in lube. With his hand still glistening he reaches out to firmly stroke my cock a couple of times. He positions himself at my entrance and hooks one arm under each of my knees and pulls them up to his shoulders though with his height it’s not that far to go.
“Now take a deep breath.”
I inhale slowly as he pushes in the head and my body slowly opens to accept him. I let the breath out softly. It burns, as he’s much bigger than anything else I’ve had inside of me, but it lets me know I’m alive.
“I love you Adam. Thank you so much for my present.”
“Mmm I love you too. Come here.”
He leans forward bringing my knees to my chest effectively pinning my straining erection between our bodies. I arch up to meet his lips in a fiery kiss as he sinks inside me until his torso and my ass meet. I savor the mixture of pleasure and pain as Kris tentatively backs out of me and sinks sharply back in.
“So good Kris.” I murmur between kisses as his hips find a rhythm that has us both delirious with pleasure.
So many kisses, and so many words of passion leave my mouth. The moans, coos, and the sound of skin slapping skin fill my head as heat spreads throughout my body. Over and over again Kris pounds into me as the world falls away until it’s just… us. I can feel myself slowly slipping into oblivion as Kris finally hits that spot inside of me. I arch my back up into Kris trying to get the friction that I need for the flame he’s ignited inside of me to consume me completely. Kris however knows exactly what I need and slips his hand between our bodies to wrap around my aching length. His hand moves up and down slowly causing the burn to ebb and flow throughout my body before his hand finds the same pace as his hips. As his hand grazes the head at the same time as his dick slams into my spot, I feel the tears prick the backs of my eyes as fire and the sweet relief that follows consume me.
“Kris… Kris… Kris…” I sob as I finally come completely undone.
My cock throbs as each rope of cum shoots from my body and splatters my torso.
“Adam, oh fuck!”
I look up in time to see Kris’s hips jerk one final time before his eyes roll back into his head and his keening whine fills the room. His eyes finally meet mine.
“Mmm, damn that was amazing baby.”
Kris just nods at me still too incoherent to speak. He slowly withdraws from my body and lowers my legs back to the bed. No doubt I will be sore tomorrow, but it will be a nice reminder that I’m his.
Kris stands up on wobbly legs and removes the condom. I watch as he ties it and pads to the bathroom. Moments later his flushed little self appears with a washcloth in hand. He wipes down my stomach, cock, and ass before throwing the washcloth beside the bed. He plops down beside me and snuggles into my body and I watch as his eyes close.
“Merry Christmas Adam. I love you.”
“I love you too Kris. Merry Christmas and don’t forget we’re going to dinner later.”
Kris just grumbles as he nuzzles further into my side. He’s asleep in minutes.
The clock shows nine in the morning and yet this is already the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I finally let my eyes drift shut and am nearly asleep.
“Bah Humbug.”
My eyes snap open. I smile to myself as I see Scrooge’s bitter frown splayed on Kris’s TV. This year someone else can be Scrooge because this year it’s not going to be me.
And so it is told that after that fateful night, a once bitter rock star found the one he was meant to spend his life with, even though that someone had been right there in front of his nose all along. From then on he never took those around him for granted and though Kris and Adam didn’t live happily ever after they did live happily because happily ever after was just for fairytales and real life true love was better than any fairytale.
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Date: 2010-01-02 09:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-02 10:11 am (UTC)