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Ugh, it's only the first week in October and the nippy chill is already in the air. While I love fall... I also hate it because I know it leads to winter and snow and putting on everything in my closet just to go outside.
This year though, while I'll probably see a snow before I leave, I'll be spending the majority of the winter in Arizona. Holy shit I can't tell you how excited I am for that. Arizona means warmth, exploring who I am, and what that means to the people I meet or spend time with while I'm there.
I'm having so many conflicting feelings when it comes to the idea of trying a relationship while I'm there. I know I'm not ready for a serious relationship, but I'm beginning to think that maybe having someone to go out with occasionally and make out like teenagers with might not be so bad.
It's so hard for me to find age appropriate relationships because even though I'll be 26 in December most people my age if they find my attractive just presume I'm jail-bait. Not only that but I'm not sure I'm ready for a mature adult relationship. I've been married, divorced, and had one serious relationship since then. I've never had the chance to date, or have that youthful relationship that's not about sex and I think that's what I'm searching for right now.
I think being in Arizona is also going to challenge my ability to keep with my diet. I spent two weeks there this summer and since I got home in July I've lost ten pounds. I don't want to gain it back, but I do wanna go out while I'm there and have fun. I just know I need to be conscious of what I'm eating and drinking. I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but at the same time there I will have more of an opportunity to try some drinks I've never had.
I don't know. This has become a place to reflect. I've also got another thing going on in my life I'm not really sure I should share yet. It's been weighing on my mind, but I'm afraid to talk about it. I think once I have a more realistic idea of the timeline I'll probably be talking about it.
This year though, while I'll probably see a snow before I leave, I'll be spending the majority of the winter in Arizona. Holy shit I can't tell you how excited I am for that. Arizona means warmth, exploring who I am, and what that means to the people I meet or spend time with while I'm there.
I'm having so many conflicting feelings when it comes to the idea of trying a relationship while I'm there. I know I'm not ready for a serious relationship, but I'm beginning to think that maybe having someone to go out with occasionally and make out like teenagers with might not be so bad.
It's so hard for me to find age appropriate relationships because even though I'll be 26 in December most people my age if they find my attractive just presume I'm jail-bait. Not only that but I'm not sure I'm ready for a mature adult relationship. I've been married, divorced, and had one serious relationship since then. I've never had the chance to date, or have that youthful relationship that's not about sex and I think that's what I'm searching for right now.
I think being in Arizona is also going to challenge my ability to keep with my diet. I spent two weeks there this summer and since I got home in July I've lost ten pounds. I don't want to gain it back, but I do wanna go out while I'm there and have fun. I just know I need to be conscious of what I'm eating and drinking. I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but at the same time there I will have more of an opportunity to try some drinks I've never had.
I don't know. This has become a place to reflect. I've also got another thing going on in my life I'm not really sure I should share yet. It's been weighing on my mind, but I'm afraid to talk about it. I think once I have a more realistic idea of the timeline I'll probably be talking about it.
